Childlike
169/300. Use your freewill
When I think of the term “childlike”, I think of children who are free of the burdens of adulthood. And I don’t mean adulthood as stress, the bills, the sleepless nights. I mean adulthood as watching your steps before you take them, being overly careful when you speak, consistently wondering if this person or people or room likes you.
When was the last time you saw a child walk into a room and worry about whether people would like them Probably never.
Kids walk in laughing before anyone has spoken to them. They ask questions adults would be too embarrassed to ask. They interrupt conversations with stories nobody requested.
These kids are so wholesome, we rarely find them annoying. Instead, we smile and stall and listen. And sometimes we even rearrange our own conversations just to entertain the child.
And even when we find them annoying, as I sometimes do with my non-stop yapping little cousin, it’s not like they notice us or they care which is something very ironic because if I was in their shoes, if we were in their shoes, we would already be counting our words to make sure they people listening don’t find us annoying or don’t kick us out.
The qualities that naturally draw people to children are the very qualities most of us spend adulthood trying to suppress.
We often say ‘kids say the darndest things.’ But I haven’t found someone who says it with a look of disgust. It’s like, it’s just kids things. To say the most embarassing things with a straight face.
And there is us. Somewhere between growing older and becoming adults, many of us lost that effortless quality.
We became more careful with our words. More conscious of how we looked. More interested in appearing competent than appearing genuine.
But there are still adults who win us over easily just because they posses qualities most of us no longer have. They possess childlike qualities;
Spontaneity, curiosity, sincerity, playfulness, and an ease that cannot be rehearsed.
It’s not charm or magic to be drawn to this type of people. It’s at most natural because we like to go for things we are not, things that challenge and awaken a part of us.
But that got me thinking. Is this reserved for a certain type of people? Is it just a one person thing? Are there adults that no longer have what it takes to be childlike? Are we all being punished?
And here’s what I think.
I don’t think we stop being children because we grow older. I think we stop because we become too concerned with appearing like adults.
I think that’s why I like the gift of freewill a little too much. If only we used it more often.
We are hard ourselves, something our child-self would probably not do but you can’t blame us either. Child us doesn’t get to sort bills, child us doesn’t get adult problems, child us isn’t thinking of how to save the world by saving themselves first but we are. We’ve got a lot of things burdening us and pulling us down.
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But does that mean we should let that part of us harden over? I think absolutely not.
It’s understandable that childhood came with less rules and even the rules we barely cared about them but adulthood came with rules and responsibilities that we can rarely avoid.
Don’t talk like this. Wear this type of dress. Don’t dress like that. Don’t be like this. Don’t smile with too much teeth. Don’t be too emotional. Don’t! Don’t! Don’t! A lot of do’s and don’t we figured fitting in was safer.
But again we’ve got freewill.
One mistake we make is equating being mature with being serious. Someone is playful and just derives joy from intangible things and we assume they’re immature, someone laughs too much and we give them a double once over. Someone is openly curious and we can’t help getting frustrated on their behalf.
Yet some of the people who totally enjoy their lives now and still live a great life possess a childlike quality.
You think adults who are openly curious learned it from Jupiter? Or the ones who take one audacity out of their freewill to waltz into a place they don’t know and just thrive came from Mars?
Nah.
These are simply adults who have learned that maybe the best life is the one you live rather freely like a child.
And I can assure if you look inwards, they most people you gravitate towards or love being around are people who are just too comfortable to be around. They are not polished and maybe not the smartest, maybe not even the funniest but there is just something about being around them.
Authenticity has a way of giving other people permission to stop pretending.
Back to my call for the use of freewill. I do not ask you to start behaving like children because let’s face it, we actually have responsibilities, deadlines to meet, and bills to pay.
But we can just learn to be freer with ourselves. Allow yourself to wonder, to play, to be curious.
Pick a weekend where you’re free, get a friend of the opposite gender to accost you and pretend to be a couple and go house hunting together.
Be like my friend, I was talking and I used a word she didn’t understand. Girl stopped me and asked what it meant. Use your freewill!!
Gather your friends for some sleepover and brag about the most mundane things.
Buy a toy Lamborghini/limousine or be like this one woman I saw on Instagram who got herself a cymbal installed it on her gear and when Lagos drivers drive her crazy, she hits it with vigor and goes wild with it together.
So many things you can do with your freewill. Take back your childhood.
I think the best time to be a child is now!
Get a drawing book and draw even if you’re terrible. Try karaoke, I know you have a terrible voice but who cares?
