Glitch-ing
Time flies so fast, sometimes i glitched myself into my old self.
I wrote this at 23.00 PM and it felt weird because this should’ve been my bed time. At first, i was just scrolling at the social media, yada yada, and then i found out that sometimes the lamp (on my brain) was glitched and i felt like i remembered the old me who didn’t know everything about these days. I feel very full yet very empty and i looked up my very pure old self. Everything was chaos nowadays, deep in myself, my worklife, my social life, everthing that i didn’t know at 18.
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Talking about changes, i am not that kind of person that boost up like a rocket. I am that slow-walker that everyone shouldn’t be proud of. I looked up to my old self that was very ambitious, clear, and smart. I was very enthusiast and a dreamer. I have so many dreams that my “now” self couldn’t be. Kinda sad yet hopeful. I still have a little desire to let it be, let it grows. Maybe yes? Maybe no? Should i? Shouldn’t i? Take the risk to chase it all?
“Falling Behind” by Laufey was surrounding around my ears, the song that i misintepreted. I know that the song is about someone who feel falling behind because everybody falling in love but she don’t haha, but i interpreted it as me that falling behind everybody that has become something something that i don’t.
I think i should take a BIG BRAVE STEP for myself, idk God please help me. The glitch in me really woke me up. To see her again in that white uniform, black shoes, and a backpack. A France dictionaries in her hand. All her secret written diaries. Her fiction novels. Her dreams, dreams, and dreams.
