Lagos Will Humble You Before 9 A.M.
I remember when I was doing a 9 to 5 in Lagos.
The office was in Jakande, and I was living in VGC. It wasn’t even that far, so I told myself, Yeah, I can do this. I wasn’t there because of the salary. In fact, the salary was small. I was there because I wanted to learn the business.
So every morning, I’d take public transport. There was no point spending my tiny salary on Ubers when a bus ride was just ₦500, ₦600, ₦700, or ₦800. If I started doing Uber back and forth every day, I’d be working just to pay for transportation.
One morning, I got into the bus already irritated.
I didn’t want to talk to anybody. I was confused, frustrated, and carrying the weight of everything life was throwing at me. I put on my AirPods, faced the window, and minded my business.
Not long after, the conductor started asking for my fare.
The thing is, I hadn’t even gotten to my bus stop.
I said, “When I get to my stop, I’ll pay you.”
In my head, I was already thinking, Abeg, leave me alone. I don’t have the energy today.
Then we got to Jakande.
Instead of stopping where I was meant to get down, this man drove past my stop and stopped at the junction by the traffic light. A long way from my stop btw, so I had to walk back to my stop.
Something in me snapped.
I reacted out of anger as the bus stop he finally decided to stop at was farther than my bus stop.
Looking back now, I know it wasn’t really about the bus stop. It was everything. The stress. The low salary. The pressure of trying to build a future. Lagos. Life.
I was sitting directly behind the driver, so I reached for him and slapped him thrice . In the process, I even snapped his fake gold chain.
He tried to hit me back but completely missed my face. Half the slap landed somewhere around my neck and shoulder.
My AirPods flew out of my ears.
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Now, if you think that made me calm down, you’re wrong.
Everybody could wait. Besides, they were all making videos instead of trying to make peace. Typical Nigerians. I actually wanna see that video.
Nobody was going anywhere until I found my AirPods.
That’s the part that makes me laugh now.
There I was, in the middle of absolute chaos, searching for my AirPods like nothing else mattered.
Then, after I found them, I stretched out my hand and asked the very same conductor, the genesis of the whole problem, for my change.
The fare was ₦800.
I had given him ₦1,000.
I wanted my ₦200.
Lagos had already stressed me. I wasn’t about to donate ₦200 on top of it.
He was still threatening me, but he somehow remembered to hand me my change before walking off.
Exactly. At least he knew my own head wasn’t correct that morning either. Aura for aura.
These days, I think about that morning and laugh because, honestly, what a scene.
I resigned after one month.
It wasn’t worth it.
I’m not exactly proud of how I reacted. Looking back now, I know it wasn’t my finest moment.
But Lagos has a way of testing your patience until you barely recognize yourself.
The sane girl who left her house that morning somehow transformed into Muhammad Ali before she even clocked in.
Lagos will humble you before 9 a.m.
