Reporting Live from Dry January Vol. 2
28 days later…not the zombie version.
Confession: I get by with a little help from my friends.
I am a child of the elementary school D.A.R.E. program and as such I was late to the “gardening” party.
Covid anxiety led me to get my medical card in 2020 and it truly changed my life. I slept better, suffered less pain, the frequency of my migraines dramatically reduced and I was able to gently recover without a prescription — in 20 years, I had never been able to find one that worked for me.
While I incorporated gardening into my life, I didn’t reduce my dependence on alcohol as much as I would have expected. That was really a signal to me that things needed to change, but it would be six years before I would even attempt to give up alcohol for an extended time.
I searched “California sober” and the results returned let me know that this term is not loved within the recovery community, but one that’s becoming more prevalent as millennials and Gen Z move away or reduce our alcohol consumption. Basically, it means you don’t drink, but you still “garden.”
Before we decided to endeavor on our Dry Q1, I knew gardening would be part of my journey. I’m not judging myself or anyone else who takes care of themselves in the ways that feel right for them.
At the same time, I’m confessing to it, so I obviously feel at least a little guilty. Feeling guilty when I should feel proud; one of the stories of my life.
Observations from the first 28 days
There have been a few times when I really wanted a drink…or 4.
Sportsball
Unbeknownst to us, Last Friday there was a Seahawks pep rally around Lake Washington. We heard music and walked over to the park to see a boat filled with cheerleaders and the Seahawks mascot playing music and hyping up a growing crowd on the pier. We started cheering with random people and getting hype for the game they would go on to win that weekend!
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When we walked inside I said, “I haven’t really wanted a beer until now.” I’ve been grateful for my self-awareness about when and how I’ve been thinking about drinking. But celebrating a sports victory, or preparing for a game, going to or watching a game at home or at a bar — bring on the drinks. Sports is definitely a situation where I’m going to be challenged. Got it.
*Gestures vaguely at…everything*
After watching the video of Charlie Kirk getting shot, I’ll never watch another video like that again if I can help it. I don’t know that I have ever been in shock before then. The only thing I can equate it to is watching people jump out of the Twin Towers on 9/11.
I’ve been so diligent about putting space between myself and the horrors of this moment in history. I’ll go days or weeks without going on Instagram — something I plan to write about and share more thoughts on in a coming post. That distance from unfiltered content really saved me this weekend.
Even though he’s an epic loser oligarch, I can’t imagine Zuck thought we’d be here on a social media app watching Americans get shot between videos spanning subjects from “gardening” to bread-baking to that cranberry juice-drinking skateboarder playing Stevie Nicks.
And watching Americans getting shot by the police state isn’t new — but it is — because now they’re white. We have never done enough to protect Black and Brown people in this country. That’s who we’ve always been. And that’s why we’re here. And I feel guilty about that, too.
So yeah, I wanted to drink this weekend, because while I was able to avoid the video, I was unable to avoid the realization that the human toll of this federal government takeover is only going to grow.
Today
Something about the rainy weather today made me want to open a bottle of wine. If you didn’t know, Seattle was going through a major dry and sunny spell in the middle of rainy season, but I got my beautiful, gray weather back today. Also my wine club is sending me emails; that might have something to do with it…
Then I realized it has been 28 days. What a cool milestone. After today, this will probably be the longest I’ve gone without drinking since I started drinking (when I turned 21, of course).
In discussing with the husband, I remembered there was certainly a Lent where I went 40 days. On top of D.A.R.E., there was the Catholic guilt.
So I’m just saying, I’m proud. And I don’t feel guilty for getting by with a little help from the garden.
How are you doing? Coping? Surviving? I’m with you.
-greengoddessriter
