Dating
So, we all have all heard this word at some point out lives, this word right here has so much influence that we can never discount it. In some social circles, the word itself is a taboo that is meant to be saved until after marriage and here in America everyone has this notion that this word can lead to “rewards”. But, have you ever thought about what dating actually means? According to this article I found by Essence Magazine, dating is a “steppingstone” that acts as a gateway to entering a relationship, to check compatibility as it were between people. By this explanation, it makes it seem like dating is some kind of social contract between two people that want to see if they can love one another. Anyway you slice it, dating is a massive part of mainstream culture particularly in the west where you are pressured to start engaging in this kind of normative behavior by as early as 6th grade, (that was the case for me!) But how do we account for those people that are not as socially adept and have difficulties finding dates with others? For me personally, I did not even date a single female until after I graduated high school even though there were people that I had crushes on and was definitely attracted to, the same energy was not reciprocated. It crushed my spirit for a time until I met my first date one fateful afternoon traveling on the Amtrak heading to Philly.
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You know what is ironic about this whole thing? One of the same girls that I used to be attracted to are now are in my messages trying to go out with me but I am in LA! Currently, there is a friend back home of mine whose name shall remain anonymous but he always asked me about girls and even told me he had a girlfriend last week when he called me up to chat! Let me give some context here, this friend of mine suffers from Autism Spectrum Disorder, which according to the CDC means he has developmental issues. Not to label here because I personally do not believe in labels of any kind but to other people that are not so open-minded as I, he could be shunned for being Autistic. It brings me comfort knowing that he was able to rise above how other people were labeling him and has entered the dating game! When did dating start becoming a set of standards and not a system of fun like it was designed to be? As human beings, we may never totally understand the answers to these questions because we are hard wired differently. But to be honest, I would love to see dating return to the non judgmental fun that it is meant to be and not a selection process. Relationships are not supposed to be the military (lol).
