Eagerness for personal growth
1. Introduction and background
Prior to residing in Sweden, I, Joody, was raised in Syria with my family of Circassian origins. Being brought up in Syria during the Bashar al-Assad authoritarian regime shaped my world view, during my childhood, adolescence, in addition to my teenage years following my migration to Sweden in 2015. I boastfully thought that analysing my identity and sense of belonging in relation to authoritarianism, war, and migration was the ceiling of knowledge, unlearning of propaganda, and the ultimate form of self-awareness and reflection. However, I was humbled quickly after beginning to study a course in intersectionality and feminism; where I was challenged on a multitude of beliefs and stances I had — albeit considering myself a radical feminist as of recent years.
Nevertheless, this was a motivation for me to continue exploring and learning, as well as evolving my critical thinking, which I believe to be incredibly valuable and necessary in today’s hyper digital world; indoctrination is not unique to education in authoritarian regimes, hence it is scarier than ever with the digital access one has to the world, which could easily serve as a pipeline for susceptible teenagers to extremist ideologies. Studying a course Feminist postcolonialism and critical race studies was the most suitable next step, thus providing me with material to critically reflect upon experiences and personal anecdotes. I would say that the literature has been helpful in putting emotions I have felt, experiences I have witnessed, and actions I have done into conceptual meaning, rendering me less alone in my personal journey — from being an indoctrinated child, to slowly, but surely, unlearning everything once ingrained within me.
Moreover, this leads me to begin recalling and analysing different memories of mine, through different conceptual lenses, which raises the question: how can the concepts of hegemonic whiteness, visibility, and non-white rage explain how anger is interpreted and managed? To answer this question, I will first recall the memory I selected for analysis, followed by defining and situating the aforementioned concepts — which serve as the theoretical framework for this analysis — and finally, conclude the analysis. The aim is not to determine who is right or wrong, but rather view a heated situation from an analytical lens; as the title suggests, this is a testimony for personal growth, where I reflect upon my earlier life and critically engage with my younger self.
1.1 Background
This story takes place in a high school located in a small segregated town in Sweden where students were informally divided between “immigrants” and “Swedes”. During a traditional Christmas volleyball tournament, our year broke the established class-based format by forming a team consisting of immigrant students. After reaching the semi-finals, one of our Somali teammates [Abdi hereinafter] reacted to provocation from the opposition Swedish team by slapping one of their players, and was immediately expelled from the match. In the aftermath, another [Somali] teammate, who had not been involved, asked a teacher how the match would proceed but was met with hostility. When a friend asked what had happened, I responded, “someone is being white trash”, and when reprimanded and called “stupid” by several participants and teachers, I pointed to my own very white forearm. Eventually, the game was cancelled and our team was disqualified — the original provocation was never addressed, and Abdi’s reaction defined the event.
2. Theoretical framework
Beginning with the concept of hegemonic whiteness — which is the main concept for the analysis. Sweden’s history with white purity has been evident throughout its conception, with plenty of eventful examples that contributed, or legally led, race biology (Hübinette and Lundström, 2014, p. 425). Prior to the creation of a Swedish nation state, Sweden was multiracial due to its overseas colonies, moreover, the dissolution of their empire led to a desire for a white nation-building project, which was an easy path as the Nordic race generally, and Swedes in particular, were considered “the whitest of whites” (ibid, p. 427). Such statements might be associated with the conservative right — especially subsequent to Sweden’s whitewashing of its history — however, this was only partly true. Lobbying for a race biology institute was met with enthusiasm from the conservative Right, to the Left — self-evidently, Arthur Engberg [a social democrat] said “We are lucky to have a race which is as yet fairly unspoiled” (Broberg and Tyden, 2005, p. 87).
Hübinette and Lundström (2014) identified 3 phases of hegemonic whiteness in Sweden — important to note that the second phase is where Sweden’s race thinking and racial politics atrophied due to social movements led by activists, thereby transforming into a non-racist, colorblind nation instantaneously (p. 429). However, for my analysis, I am going to focus on the third phase which succeeds to the present. Following the 9/11 hysteria, Sweden feared everything non-white and non-christian, thereby restricting asylum laws, amongst collaborations with NATO and the US, as well as garnering support to the Sweden Democrats; SD portrayed itself as an enemy of patriarchal Islam, which oppresses Swedish women, as well as the LGBTQ — the white feminists allied with xenophobic ideologies, as they similarly villanised Islam (pp. 431–432).
A concept I believe to go hand in hand with hegemonic whiteness is in/visibility; as discussed endlessly by different scholars, visibility is a social process that positions certain bodies as hyper-visible while others remain invisible. Simultaneously, racialized bodies can be hyper-visible as well as marginalized in white institutions. They stand out as “different”, attracting scrutiny, doubt, and over-surveillance, while their perspectives, authority, and individuality are dismissed or ignored. In contrast, white bodies function as the unmarked norm, moving through spaces without being noticed or questioned. This dynamic creates a double burden: racialized individuals must constantly prove competence while representing their group, leading to exhaustion and a persistent sense of not fully belonging in spaces structured around whiteness. In Sweden, migrants are often perceived as not fully Swedish, which renders them hyper-visible as racialised subjects (Löfdahl, et al., 2023, p. 9; Barthwal-Datta, 2023, pp. 4–5).
Turning the attention to what I understand as a response to white supremacist attitudes — which are engrained in societies worldwide — non-white rage. To better understand that concept, one has to understand what it is in response to; white rage can be described as “aggrieved entitlement” due to the belief that white men are losing power (Hübinette, 2023, p. 124). An example of which is the “great replacement”, it draws on intersecting categories of race, culture, and gender, framing immigration, interracial relationships, and higher birth rates among immigrants as threats to the survival of “native whites” (Ekman, 2022, p. 1130). Nonetheless, the results of the aforementioned white emotions [and actions] can be identified in the emotional reaction of people of color. Janine Young Kim (cited in Hubinette, 2023, pp. 124–126) identified the emotions that stem from racism, hate crimes, racial discrimination, etc.: fear, anger, hatred, disgust, and grief. These emotions I believe to be evident within non-white communities, particularly black and brown individuals, given that white supremacy is ingrained within all societies in general, and the global north in particular. Anyuru (2018, cited in Hübinette, 2023, pp. 127–128) wrote about breaking his father’s demands to not take to violence when he was harassed by white children, describing the liberation and power he felt when realising that the invisible body can become hyper-visible by inciting violence towards their casual, everyday racism.
Lastly, I want to establish the method of writing this essay — the primary focus of the analysis is on a personal experience thus an autoethnographic method is applied. Autoethnography merges elements of ethnography and autobiography, it acknowledges the researcher not as a detached observer, but as an important participant whose lived experience and feelings are vital data to the pursuit of knowledge, as well as understanding the world (Ellis, et al., 2011, pp. 274- 275; Anderson, 2006, p. 384). Familiarising myself with the theories above has been fundamental in my journey of bettering myself, holding myself accountable and reflecting upon a younger, reactionary rebellious version of myself. As well as putting raw emotions into academic writing, hence my choice utilising these concepts to analyse a personal memory.
3. Analysis
Several dynamics in this incident can be analysed independently, or in relation to one another through different conceptual lenses; therefore I choose to dissect the memory and analyse these dynamics with historical context in mind.
Sweden’s long history of racial ideologies, race biology, as well as white supremacy; in spite of its shift during the world wars to remain “neutral”, and become a symbol for antiracist politics and colorblindness (Hübinette and Lundström, 2015, p. 425). While colorblindness is not a critical part of this analysis, color-blind ideology reinforces racism by rendering differences unspeakable and by treating the acknowledgment of race as offensive (Mahoney, 2020, pp. 717–718); nonetheless, these facts are important to note as we begin the analysis.
Hegemonic whiteness refers to how whiteness functions as the unmarked norm, the “default setting” and standard of belonging and legitimacy within a white [Swedish] society; being white is closely tied to being recognised as “fully Swedish”, while non-white individuals are othered (Lundström & Hübinette, 2014, p. 426). Looking closely at the incident, breaking the traditional class-based format and creating our own team, which only included the immigrants of our year, placed us in a highly discernible situation, where we were hyper-visible. As noted by Löfdahl, et al. (2023, p. 9), the inclusion of migrants tends to make them invisible — had we not created an “immigrant team” and instead adhered to the traditional division of teams, where each one of us faded into the background of groups dominated by the Swedes, our participation in the tournament would not have been as hyper-visible as it became.
Before turning to Abdi’s physical reaction and non-white rage, my own comments and the reactions to them can also be analysed through the lenses of hegemonic whiteness and visibility. I am a Circassian Syrian woman, meaning my skin is very light, even pale at times. Prior to residing in Sweden, I never questioned my sense of belonging, possibly because I did not understand that my country of origin and religion are racialised. Nonetheless, as Lundström and Hübinette (2014, pp. 425–427) argue, despite Sweden’s shift from scientific racism to colorblind antiracism, whiteness remains the “default setting”, reproduced at both institutional and everyday levels. Swedishness is implicitly tied to whiteness, where being white signifies full belonging, while non-white individuals are not fully recognised as Swedish. My comment — “someone is being white trash” — and gesture of pointing to my forearm illustrates this dynamic. I was signalling that I could make such a comment because I am white, however, the hostility I encountered demonstrated that I am positioned as an outsider, despite my skin color and citizenship in Sweden; I was not “Swedish enough” for my whiteness to be granted legitimacy. This illustrates how hegemonic whiteness operates not only as skin color, but as a cultural and national standard that determines who can speak and how their actions are interpreted.
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Furthermore, through the concept of visibility, my comment can be interpreted as an attempt to make whiteness visible in a situation where non-whiteness was already hyper-visible. However, within a Swedish context shaped by colorblindness and a reluctance to engage with racial discourse, such an explicit reference to race may itself be perceived as inappropriate or offensive. This reaction may have been less significant had it come solely from students; the fact that a teacher responded by calling me “stupid” further complicates the situation.
To deepen the understanding of the incident, it is useful to turn to theoretical perspectives on non-white racial emotions. Sara Ahmed (2004, pp. 64–67, 75–76) described how the desire to preserve “what is”, “us”, is ingrained in white fear. Considering how histories shape perceptions and stereotypes, labels tend to “stick” to the racialised body, e.g. the “scary” black man, the Arab “terrorist”, or the “victimised” Muslim woman. Taking into account the historical construction of such labels, alongside our understanding of whiteness as the “invisible norm” and the desire to preserve white privilege [through the lens of hegemonic whiteness], Abdi’s physical reaction to the original provocation becomes more comprehensible. While I do not know what was said, the broader context — a segregated town and school, Sweden’s history of racialised thinking and colorblindness, and Abdi’s intersecting identities — suggests that his reaction can be understood through the lens of non-white rage, which can ultimately be a reaction to an “angry white man” who sees himself as superior and has intense negative feelings towards people of color. A provocation is not always the cause of non-white rage, nor is physical violence always its outcome. However, just as white supremacy is ingrained in many societies, non-white racialised emotions — such as fear, hatred, anger, disgust, and grief — can be understood as responses to racialisation and lived experiences of marginalisation. These emotional responses do not emerge in isolation, but are shaped by broader historical and social contexts in which racialised bodies are positioned as other (Hübinette, 2023, p. 124).
4. Conclusion
So, how was the anger interpreted and managed? I believe the situation could have been handled differently. Given that adults were present and witnessed the altercation between two 16–17-year-old boys, the issue could have been addressed in a more mature and measured manner. In many sports, if one member of a team lashes out, they alone are sanctioned; for example, when Zinedine Zidane headbutted Marco Materazzi during the 2006 World Cup Final, the French team was not disqualified — Zidane alone was removed from the match.
Is it possible the player slapped by Abdi said something racist? Absolutely, given the context. Was my comment inappropriate? Definitely. Both in the moment and in hindsight, I recognise that my comment was provocative, that was the intention. Would I have reacted the same way again? Probably not, as I am not the same dramatic and reactionary teenager. This is not to suggest that non-white racial emotions no longer arise in response to explicit or implicit racism; rather, I can only reflect on this particular situation and acknowledge that, knowing my intentions, I would act differently today.
Furthermore, the context of our racialised and hyper-visible team, combined with Sweden’s historical trajectory from notions of white purity to contemporary colorblindness, makes it easier to analyse the incident through the lenses of hegemonic whiteness, visibility, and non-white rage. These frameworks help illuminate how the situation unfolded beyond individual actions, pointing to broader social and historical structures.
However, as stated in the introduction, the aim is not to determine who was right or wrong, but to analyse the incident and reflect upon it in hindsight. This serves as a testimony to an eagerness for continued personal growth. My teenage years were especially eventful — in search for validation while simultaneously being reactionary. This is a first step in holding myself accountable while critically engaging with my past actions and decisions. Through deepening my education, I hope to continue reflecting and holding myself accountable in future research endeavours.
References
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