Attraction.
The crazy part about adulthood is the craving of connection, belonging and love. The constant urge for intimacy. I am a late bloomer- by intentional means. I have always just focused on my books. As I have come to standstill in that area, my mind has tended to wonder, curious as to how I will find a partner. It is a desire.
I have never taken a kindness to Muslim men from my area. I don’t believe in their ideologies. For the most part, I would prefer a revert. My religion doesn’t allow marriage outside faith, so that’s a challenge for me. How do I navigate this? How am I able to follow my beliefs? How will I adapt? Will I just succumb to the norm? Knowing what I want is scarce? Sometimes I’m okay with being alone for the rest of my life. Sometimes I’m not. Vast is the human experience. Will I marry a none believer? Will he fulfill my rights? Will my offspring be believers? Am I ready for the uncertainty of it? Or maybe just not have kids with him? Your guess is as good as mine.
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But Allah is the best of planners. I have to trust Him. I have to seek Him. I have to believe in Him. I have to? Oh Allah Guide me.
