matcha girl
She waited by the counter as the man made her matcha. She took out her card and paid, without giving the man a smile. She kept her head low and went outside. She was by herself.
She took out her phone and clicked pictures of the green liquid. She had a faint makeup, and wore whatever the current generation wears. Her phone buzzed, 10 likes. Basic. It’s been only 2 minutes.
She looked at her immediate environment, looking at everything at the same time.
‘Do I fit in ? Do I fit in ?’
‘Am I normal now ?’
‘This is what normal looks, so..’
‘The boys like me. My parents are ok. I have an ugly friend, who acts like a contrast for my beauty to shine through. I have two girl friends who pretty (not more than me though) who support me by validating every thinking process I can summon for the day. My Yes Ladies. The marketing campaigns are working, I am a beauty queen. I can do ‘beep’ with my credit card without looking at the price tag.’
‘Oh you are fine’
‘Let’s just get some cheesecake’
‘You just need some sugar.’ (to push everything down)
Then she saw me and said : ‘Are you reading my mind ?’
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“Why not? It was kinda open for me to poke around.”
‘GET OUT’
“okay”
‘Noo, wait.’
‘How did you know what I was thinking ?’
“Hey matcha girl, you think you are the only ones with those kind of thought patterns ?”
“What if I were projecting my own insecurities on you ? I sometimes have a pretty pessimistic view of the world. I cannot seem to help it unless… Unless I realize that it is some kind of pattern — a repetition, like an audio player on loop. Then it stops or the noise drowns. Clarity emerges, you know. These thoughts, they must be coming from somewhere, because if I were thinking thoughts, I would choose some nice ones, won’t you ?”
“It is weird, you seeing me broke my rumination and when we saw each other, both of our mind games stopped like magic. It is a relief to be honest, to get out of this rut and speak with you.”
“Do not get me wrong, I am not flirting with you although my uncanny honesty do catch people off guard and seem to make them like me. (just a normal people pleaser) I am just saying we should stop being in our heads all the time, you know.”
‘And how do you propose we do that? My mind is incessantly on.”
“Maybe we learn to catch them. If they are crap, we don’t let ourselves become dirty. If they are beautiful (like you — fake coughs), maybe we see if we have any use for them.”
‘Sounds like a good idea. I’ll give it a go, weird boy.’
