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Hamza Irshad Siddiqui

Hamza Irshad Siddiqui

I do not talk, I am just a hacker

Return

6 min readAug 6, 2025

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This article is about Alan Wake II, how life’s been since my writer’s block, an exam I just passed, more Alan Wake II, what I’m even looking forward to now, and yeah of course Alan Wake II.

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First let’s talk about Alan Wake II

I have been on a long hiatus from a lot of things. Social media accounts, Writing, even Gaming, even being motivated or inspired to do anything in my life to achieve anything after my Gold Medal. It’s crazy that you yearn for things for so long and when you finally get it you don’t have the answer for “What’s Next?”

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And this is where this game called Alan Wake II comes into play which I have been playing for the past six months although the game is not that long and there is no multiplayer either to spend so much time on ranking. Instead Alan Wake II is a story solely about Writer’s Block, being inspired or motivated to write or achieve anything. And that is what I relate to the most. From the first installment to this one it took Alan Wake 13 years to finally break his writer’s block and write his new scripture called “Return”. And just like that here is my scripture called “Return”, although mine’s much quicker.

What did I went back to

To be very honest, it is not much, but to be honest, it is not less either. I actually didn’t return back to many things as “missing” anything is not a trait that I carry. But there has been this one certification which I have been yearning for so long ever since I entered my domain in Cybersecurity. Heard a lot of horror stories about how hard it is and how many people fail and on top of that the overexpensiveness of this certification just makes everything looks like a massive triumph to overcome.

Now I know people for whom this is just easy they only get stuck at the “money” part of things which they figure out eventually. But I’ll admit I’m not really the best of the bunch. You can even tell by the English I’m writing here. I said this before and I’ll say it again a Gold Medal doesn’t make me some omniscient being who can do everything. It is like achieving a peak but you cannot come down from there. And that’s what stressed me more about why I cannot do this certification.

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But last week I just managed to do it. Yeah it took a lot of grind and a huge price to pay both materially and mentally. But eventually I became someone who could achieve it. And here is that certification below, OSCP.

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Now I honestly don’t wanna talk about how did I do it. Because this article would start to sound like too much of a LinkedIn post which I actually haven’t used since December 2023. Why? Because thankfully I’m at a job where I don’t feel the need to look at LinkedIn and see the rat race of achievements. I have become very content with life and not simply interested in peeking into what is going on with the rest of the world. I might be in a state of solitude. But now is my “Return” and speaking of that let’s talk about Alan Wake II.

Alan Wake II is what Hideo Kojima always wanted to do but couldn’t

If you know gaming you would know who Hideo Kojima is. The mind behind Metal Gear series which is a cult of its own in the gaming world. Kojima always talked about how his games are gonna blend the lines between a movie and videogame, infact a lot of other game directors tried that route with games like The Last of Us, God of War, Life is Strange, Red Dead Redemption II etc. but either their these games are too movie-ish or too game-ish there has never been a balance ever since Alan Wake II released.

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Just play this game and see how it blends live action footage directly into the game while you are playing it. Most games would throw many cutscenes at you or they would try to make it look too cinematic that it starts to feel less like a game and more like watching a documentary. While at its release Alan Wake II was a massively demanding game in terms of hardware but it is also the first game to achieve this technical feat with such a perfect balance. And it looks as cinematic as a visual piece of media can ever look like.

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But this game isn’t just about aesthetics either but the amount of pop culture/kino references it has makes it much more worthwhile. While there are many obvious ones and many of those which horror genre fans would absolutely love to see, my personal favorite is a silly one. It’s the NPCs wearing Converse, I love me some Converse shoes.

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Back to what I was saying

So all in all life’s been sailing smooth to be honest but now that I am done with OSCP I really am thinking hard about what should I even do now? Like this was such a massive feat to achieve and now that it is here I have this feeling of nothingness now. I have even become less and less social like weeks pass and I don’t properly talk to anyone. Should I be touching some grass perhaps? Well yeah I actually do it every weekend. It’s not that I’m complaining about anything, it’s just that I don’t know what to do now…guess I’m going back to my Writer’s Block again. And speaking of Writer’s Block isn’t that the theme of Alan Wake II?? Yeah well lets talk about it again.

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The theme of duality

One of the most fascinating things about Alan Wake II is how it constantly plays with duality. Light and Dark. Alan Wake and Scratch. Reality and Fiction. It’s like a constant reminder that no state of being is pure we’re all living somewhere between hope and dread, ambition and paralysis. That duality is present in me too. I’m proud of what I’ve achieved but unsure of where to direct that energy next. I want to keep moving forward but I also feel stuck in place. It’s like I’ve emerged from a dark tunnel only to realize I’m in a larger cave.

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An ending note maybe

I honestly have no idea why I started off this draft with an Alan Wake II comprehensive review/praise/fanboying etc. but then I fitted in my OSCP in between. Guess I played a game after so long which really moved me in many ways and I’m really glad such a piece of media exists to keep me going on in this life. I’ll continue to be a Champion of Light against the Herald of Darkness.

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