I Love Wearing Earplugs
The wall is thin, and I hate my neighbors.
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When that neighbor was carried out on a stretcher, I was secretly watching it with glee from the window in my room.
It’s my revenge fantasy about my neighbor, and there are so many of them casually floating in my brain whenever some neighbor makes a noise loud enough for me to hear in my room.
The old man who lives at the apartment across mine coughs up phlegm all the time. It’s so fucking loud and disgusting, and why does he have to do it at his balcony? Why can’t he do it in his house? I can literally hear it in my room. I actually yelled “Shut the fuck up!!!” in my room at him (with windows closed) today.
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I can also hear it when another old man who lives in the neighboring apartment pees in the middle of the night. I can’t decide if the sound is more disgusting or the sound of the coughing old man. The wall is fucking thin.
There’s another old man who lives on the same street, and his trademark noise is sneezing for multiple times loud enough for the entire street to hear. Why can’t he do it in his own house with the door and windows closed? No one wants to hear your old-man sneeze, okay? What the fuck is wrong with these old men?
If you think I’m putting all the blame on old men, you’re wrong (well, partially wrong).
The old woman talks in her creepy baby voice with her grandchild (not sure of its gender) every day, and the voice carries to my room, too. It’s as if I’m listening to a horror movie that is playing in the background. It gets on me nerves. She’s also the bitchy neighbor who couldn’t stop pressing my doorbell and complain about the leaking pipes years ago. (The revenge fantasy is for her.)
That’s when earplugs work their magic. I started wearing earplugs when I was preparing for important exams in my school days, and I came to love them and treasure them as my lifeline.
I hate noises, and even a little noise irritates me and turns me into a bad-tempered bitch, so the best way to calm myself down is to tune out all the noises in my surroundings. I love the complete quiet brought by earplugs, and I think it’s the best invention in human history.
They’re necessary items for people who can’t stand other people — you can’t make them disappear, but you can pretend they don’t exist by tuning out their voices. It’s like you’re watching a bad and loud TV show when the stop button doesn’t work, and all you have to do is put two of these little soft stuff in your ears.
Problem solved! How wonderful.
