I hope you cry for me
I was drowning slowly disappearing as the waves passed by. I looked that person in the eye and for the last time, I pleaded. “Can you cry for the person i was once?” I wasn’t asking to be saved nor to be held tightly but just to be seen as who I was. Enough to overcome the coldness of the sea that little by little eats the whole of me.
When I was young, I thought mourning was just for the deceased. They cry during the funeral as a way to grieve for the dead. However as I grew older I come to understand that some people are dead inside but they are still alive. Isn’t it ironic? Can we mourn for the people who are still here but the version of them that we know is gone?
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The blue sky reminds me of sadness but it’s not enough to articulate the feeling of it. Its like looking at the water that swallows you whole. I felt like i was dying, the waves were harsh enough to mark my skin but not enough to take my breath. Even screaming wouldn't help because the ones hearing it will just hear how the waves crash. It was like my feet were anchored to the ocean floor and I could no longer see the surface that once warmed me. It was like my eternity was saying goodbye.
I saw someone who used to know me, then I said “Can you cry for the person i was once?”, the person just looked away. The scorching sun blinded my eyes and my tears just shed like flowing water not wanting to end.
I poured my heart out and mourned for the countless version of myself I couldn't save. It was like a loop, I was stuck at the sea and again slowly being swallowed by the currents. My last wish was just to hear someone cry for me.
Sincerely, heartinsolace
