Baptism
Soundtrack — Soldier by Erykah Badu & Borderline (Ode to Self Care) by Solange
Baptize: A verb meaning to cleanse, renew, and reveal yourself to you and those around you
My baptism was one that I did not see, but everyone around me saw the need — the need to push me off the cliff of comfort and into a zone of immortality. My legacy will be greater than this physical form I trod. It will be synonymous to a caged bird. A caged bird sings to be freed but what are chains to someone who has been free their entire lives? The cage is just my guard from unwanted energies. Today, I am freer than I have ever been. I am free to fly, free to love, free to give, free to wait, free to make, and free to live. I have no regrets or complaints about my life thus far. My whole life has been filled with love — love from all ways. I have always been loved but it took for my baptism for me to see that love for what it was. I was loving the dark too much and not appreciating the light. The darkness should be manifested through the brightness of the light, which means all the hurt, pain, and trauma one may have experienced should be used to make one shine brighter. There will always be a reason for one to be sad, upset, or angry, but only the strong are able to turn those emotions into positive. I charge you with turning all those negative emotions into positive, while also understanding that they will seep into your mental without you knowing of it so you must be cognizant of your energies. A friend once asked me, “What is your brain digesting on a daily?” My response was positivity, but I charge you to ask yourself — what is your spirit digesting on a daily? The answer should be a reflection of your mood and essentially what you are doing holistically to empower yourself; whether the empowerment is through food, art, music, etc., you should be empowering yourself towards your best self everyday. Self-care is the best care.
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On a personal note, I have noticed that I can be too selfless, so I declare that being selfish with one’s own time is not a bad thing. Solange has a song called “Borderline (Ode to Self Care)” and this song speaks to the border one should set when dealing with self and how loving one’s self is a journey. She also says, “Baby there is water outside these walls,” which means there is renewal, cleansing when you truly reflect on your journey. Personally, my baptism was my renewal and cleansing. It required me to give of myself what I always give to others — time, energy, space, and love. Even Solange’s song “Cranes In the Sky” speaks of how the external pressures can sometimes force you to subject yourself to things that are not of yourself, which is why she says she tried to drink it away and all the others ways she tried to avoid going on this journey of self love. These are all ways we try to avoid loving our whole selves, but I challenge to search in you to search in your closet and close those doors that continue to bring pain or anger into your light. There must be a balance between one’s selfishness and one’s selflessness is what I am learning. There must be a balance between self-love and the love of others. Someone once said that the opposite of any love is fear, so I fear nothing. Someone once said that fear is fake emotions appearing real and today I proclaim that fear no longer lives here — only love! I will not be ruled by the fear of the unknown because everything comes in due time so thank you to everyone who has played a part in my baptism. We shall live in love not in fear. We shall live in sun not in tears. We shall live on Earth and not in the clouds. I shall live and love for living and lighting sake. Thank you and you are much appreciated. I am truly honored and grateful to have so much love bestowed upon me and in such abundance. May my story tell a tale of love and light. We are one and as I cleanse and renew my spirit, I gain a new understanding of who I am and where I will be. Peace comes to those who wait! I have gotten peace and patience during my baptism. I have gotten a greater understanding for what peace looks like. It does not look like me it looks like us all. Erykah Badu once sang, “I got love for my folks/ baptized when the levees broke.” That is me! I was baptized when the waters of Katrina took all of my earthly possessions except the one thing that I cherish — my temple, my body. Let there be peace and as we come closer to freedom, we should learn to love ourselves first. We cannot love anyone unless we first love ourselves! We cannot defeat this system unless we first love ourselves! I challenge you to take time to care for yourself, Sistahs and Brothas!
DISCLAIMER: I am not an expert and I do not ascribe to one solution to a problem. If you have any critiques, knowledge, or general comments about the essay, email me at highhealproductions7@gmail.com
Peace and Blessings,
HHD
