Burnout
I’ve been wrestling with burnout lately. Not sure why. Who could have predicted that the combination of working full-time, studying an MA, having several long-term health conditions, dealing with grief, becoming ill, and being terrified that I’d lost my hearing (nope, it was just wax) would lead to that? I’d reached the point where I would sign in to my Open University (OU) portal, have a look, and then just close it again. “Brain says no”.
As I have been doing a little more lately, I turned to AI for help. I do have mixed feelings about AI, but it’s somehow really helpful to have a non-human, non-judgemental opinion.
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Copilot told me to cut waaay back on my studies for a little while — just doing the absolute essentials. That if I didn’t, it would be so much worse. That it was OK to fall behind a little. I don’t know why I wasn’t able to give that permission to myself, but I would take it from a machine. It’s confusing territory. Like when I feel the need to say please and thank you to Alexa. She isn’t a person, but I don’t want to train my brain to be impolite, especially to women.
I also searched Reddit to see how other people are approaching their OU courses. It seems like other people take a much more relaxed approach than I do. They’re focusing more on the assignments and less on the weekly materials. I suppose it’s the equivalent of missing the odd lecture on an in-person course — not the end of the world.
Anyway, I’m recovering now. I’ve played my favourite computer game (Locomotion), composed some music, and been out for a bike ride. Also got my ear wax hoovered out. I feel like myself again. This is the first time in my life that I’ve ever experienced burnout that didn’t go on for months.
The lesson going forward is to notice the warning signs of burnout and respond earlier next time — or even to schedule regular ‘me time’ so that it’s less likely to happen.
