Cliques
August 12 2025
“Next time I tell you to do something, you do it”.
Filly was aggravated at Mister for getting his sister out of her car seat and not holding her hand. It was not like he was intuitive at seven years old. But with three kids getting out of the car, it seemed to Filly like he should have at least had an eye for his little sister Pyp. But he did not get it. And he looked at Filly with hurt eyes, because being harsh with words always made him upset.
Filly wondered why she was short tempered this day. But then she decided that she, and all the other moms in the world, when accused of being butts or jerks, were actually probably exhausted. Cooking, and baking and laundry and wet bathing suits and towels draped over wood chairs, and socks and shoes and clothes left in piles on the floor, and constant reminders, and constant vacuuming up the crumbs, all though accepted as part of the job, did in fact take a toll on a person’s good humor.
But the little squeaks of joy by a child, when jumping into the pool or the smile of approval when the mac and cheese was made just right, made things worth it.
The phone rang and it was Filly’s daughter.
Filly told her the story of Mister getting out of the car.
She said, “When my kids get out of the car our rule is they have to put their hand on the car and wait, until I am ready to go walk with them in the parking lot. I also make them raise their hand up when walking so cars backing out ,can see them better.”
Both ideas were good ideas. Filly was not regretting all the work involved with little kids, and at that moment, she was remembering her own childhood and how much fun her dad had with them in stead of getting angry. Her mom got stuck doing a lot of the energy sapping labor of cooking, washing, ironing, and scheduling, while her dad had the fun to play capture the flag, teach them how to paint on canvas, and pretended to be a drill sergeant when checking their chores, wearing white gloves and sweeping his hand over dusty surfaces. Filly smiled at the memory.
The songs she had heard earlier in the day, reminded her of her dad, or even of a heavenly father.
Like the song, “Right down the Line”, really expressed her feelings, only trading the word woman in the song, for the word Dad, or God.
Or “the Wichita Lineman” a song Filly had written about many times because it made her believe that good, God, or her Dad, were still watching, listening, and hearing everything, and keeping things in order. The song was powerful in so many different ways. A loved one who is selfless, and able to not be physically in the picture, but still protecting, loving and keeping watch, immortalized in the beautiful lyrics and haunting melody.
She went back in her thought to the conversation she was having with her daughter. Her daughter’s girls had been invited to an American Girls doll party and then there had been drama at the party because one of the children invited was kind of excluded. Filly thought it was ironic that teaching children to love babies, in her mind, was the purpose of dolls, not using ownership of a particular kind of doll, to form cliques. American as apple pie was supposed to be friendly, traditional, joyful and delicious.
But Filly had her own share of drama facing cliques growing up. She remembered at Catholic School when the parents made sure all kids were invited but the kids actually did not really want everyone to attend. Filly, in grade school was gangly, thin, and needed braces. She had long braids that her dad would hold and pretend to gallop her like a horse. She laughed at the memory of this.
But at the party, Filly and Mary Hillary Todd were not allowed to be in the same room with the other kids. And when the other kids brought them “snacks” it was “ho ho’s” a chocolate creme cake covered in foil, that had been smashed flat before being served. Filly and Mary Hillary were too shy and introverted to speak up for themselves. And Filly had never wanted to go to another party after that.
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She also never had wanted to speak up for herself. In school, when she was supposed to give an oral report, even though she had prepared a report, she pretended to have forgotten, so she did not have to get up in front of the class to speak. She got a zero on the paper as a result, each time.
Filly did not tell her parents how much the public speaking made her afraid. And so when she was going off to college, and she went to sign up for classes, she found out that freshmen were last to pick and all the good ones were full, leaving Snorkeling and Public speaking.
Filly had been talking with her dad and he wanted to know what classes she had to choose from and she told him she was terrified of speaking and of being under water. Her dad said “face your fears”.
“Do the thing that you are most afraid to do, especially if it is something that will make you a better person” he coached.
He told Filly to sign up for the very classes she did not want to take. He said it would be good for her character.
She trusted her dad, the Wichita Lineman…so she did.
The first day of public speaking, she was told to stand up and say something about herself, and to clap her hands together the whole time while talking. Filly was amazed but she was able to do it, even though her heart was pounding.
When she had to give her first speech, she made a cake, and gave everyone a slice, and used the cake as a distraction. She thought it was funny that “my Oxford Year” has a scene the same, with a man who looked exactly like her dad as a college student serving cake to his students.
Remembering this Filly told her daughter that she should get the girls to stand up for someone who was being targeted. The girls would not participate in teasing a girl, but at the same time, they were afraid to stand up to the other girls and defend the girl being targeted.
Perhaps a public speaking class for the girls would help with stage fright. Practicing what to say in advance had really helped Filly. She had not been afraid to lead boot camp classes as a personal trainer and had not even thought about being in front of people when she knew what she was going to say in advance. When the goal was to be of self service, communication was natural and problem free.
And then of course, there was the goal of keeping cool in the face of constant irritation and work, which tended to taint conversation in a negative way. Like being a tired mom…lol.
Filly had been watching Heartland where Lisa and Amy’s dad were going somewhere in the truck and the truck broke down. Lisa had offered to drive her newer truck earlier in the episode, so when the truck broke down and she had to miss her buyers meeting she could have been irritated but she did not get mad and she even brought out a picnic, to serve. Talk about making lemonade from Lemons. That was how Filly wanted to be…someone who did not get flustered when things went south.
What did God say about her temper.
2 And I saw the seven angels who stand before God, and seven trumpets were given to them.
Her family and her mothers family were families of seven. Filly smiled.
