Hello
In the spirit of my friends and I seeing “The Book of Mormon” last weekend, and the excellent performance the cast gave, this post is about remembrance and the thousand times I have listened to the soundtrack since then.
Friday is here, and my weekend is coming and I am so excited to relax. I had the most taxing week (cue my dramatics). Two exams, meetings, no-baby week and a bunch of other stress inducing stuff just had me running around. My roommate was sick, I had work and this week the temperature went from 60 to 25 in the span of 12 hours.
But the weekend is here and I can relax and breathe and cuddle with my friends. I am worn out and drained and just completely dead. It’s almost sinful that we only have two days until the week starts over again.
It’s a routine that just requires you to go through the motions each and every day and once you get through one week, you go right back to the next one. It sometimes gets to be too much, but I believe the only reason I’m not off my rocker and in a home is because I have the best of friends here with me. The downside of this is I don’t have my (real) family.
When I chose my school, I made sure to choose one in state and one slightly close to home. I’m far enough away where I’m not tempted to be there every weekend but when I need to come home it’s easy enough to finagle.
My family and I are close. I’m the eldest and the first to go away, which makes it hard on everyone. I miss my dad and flopping on him to bother him. I miss my brother and getting into sass-offs with him and watching my sister grow and be a child at the same time. I miss my mom, who is my rock and my support and believes in herself and in me.
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At the end of a long week, even though collapsing with my friends is always the best feeling, there’s still some part of me that wants to be home with my family. There’s a small part of me that is afraid to be an adult and I just want my mom to take care of me. I want to curl up with my dad and eat good homemade food and purge on desserts and have someone else make the decisions.
I don’t want to be the adult with adult problems and budgets and deadlines. At the end of a long week where I feel empty and shattered I just want to be with my family at home.
It physically hurts me to be away from my dogs and I cannot wait to be home and see them and walk them and cuddle them. I’m aching to be with my family and to be told that I don’t need to worry about anything.
Please look at my dog
So all in all I have my friends here and I’m going home next weekend and I’m excited that I have these friends who deal with me.
So in the past week I’ve been tried and taxed and had to flop on friends and I called my mom twice. But this is what adulting is. This is me finding out how I’m going to live my life and how I’m going to do the best that I can.
