An ESL in China: 20 things you must know
1. Take tissue with you everywhere. If you need to blow your nose or require paper in the bathroom, you will have to provide the paper products. Or go without or use your sleeves. Keeping a small packet of sanitary wipeys on hand is essential.
2. Speaking of needing toilet paper, people squat here. They do not use our modern version of a commode, john, etc.
3. Just because its dark out, do not assume everyone turns on their lights. Streetlights? Not everywhere for sure. “Driving my car or truck or electric bike at night? Who says I have to turn on my lights?” A vehicle moving at 45 mph can be on top of you in no time, especially when you can’t see it.
4. I have yet to see anyone driving on a sidewalk for more than thirty feet, but parking on what might be a sidewalk is common. Actually, I think the term “sidewalk” is a nice idea but not really used in practice. Pedestrians beware.
5. Word to the wise; vendors, other goods providers, salespeople, etc., when they see a foreigner, they see, well, not a mark exactly (okay, maybe sometimes), but more to the point, somebody that isn’t used to dickering over the cost of things. They wheedle over nearly everything that is sold on the street, in outdoor open markets, even in slap dash warehouses where a large assortment of vendors will set-up for a long weekend of selling knockoffs.
If you don’t at least try to bargain with them, they will quote the highest price they think they can get away with. Once when I paid for a new piece of luggage, I could’ve sworn I saw the saleslady snicker when I walked away. Chinese salespeople are relentless. The more you shake your head, the faster and harder they come.
6. Trash is piled everywhere. No trash trucks, no large covered industrial-style dumpsters, garbage is either burned in metal barrels or dumped out in the street in a tacitly agreed upon local spot. Rubbish collectors are hardy, enterprising individuals who brave the stench and bacteria with gloves and face masks. They have a vehicle of some type to stack or tie down their newly acquired refuse. They re-sell, eat, use for compost, recycle everything that’s out. The big rats get the rest.
7. They say that dogs and cats are not eaten here. Not so sure about that. I’ve heard dogs crying in extreme pain late at night around here. Maybe someone stepped on its tail…for five minutes straight…
8. Relationships and marriages are still largely arranged and approved of by families. Dowry size depends on what the bride brings to the table; education, beauty, skill set (speaking English is a big plus), current social status, etc.
9. No one here likes to be seen with a foreigner, unless a local is showing you off as a sign of cachet.
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10. Everyone stares at the American. It’s not considered rude, it just seems rude.
11. No such thing as “standing in line”. If you leave any space at a counter, someone will walk right in front of you without a second thought. Going to a fast-food place is like watching a mother bird trying to feed her young, the staff is completely besieged. If you’re a polite bird, you will die of starvation.
12. I am not a fan of 1980’s solar heating. No sun, no hot water. Period. Sometimes, I honestly feel like I am camping in my own apartment.
13. If you have a gun, you work for the government or are a member of organized crime. However, public use of whips with chains, num-chuks and knives are okay for outdoor exercise (?!).
14. All female and male students have the same hair length, very short. Girls are generally not allowed to grow their hair long until university.
15. People do smoke marijuana here. I have smelled it a half a dozen since I’ve been here.
16. Cold drinks of any sort are rare. In fact, many Chinese believe that drinking something cold is bad for your health. And as my New Zealand colleague once said to me, “The Chinese have it backwards. Instead of cold beer and hot barbecue, they have warm beer and cold barbecue”.
17. Southeast China has some of the worst air quality that I’ve ever experienced. My constantly aggravated asthma is a testament to this fact.
18. City streets are a jaywalker’s paradise, driving lanes are for suckers. Go wherever you want, you’re the one driving, they’re in YOUR way!
19. A shot of Jack Daniel’s was 50 kwai or roughly 7.25 American.
20. Canadians, South Africans and the British all have strong opinions about Americans, most of these opinions are not terribly positive.
If you decide to ever live and work in China, I hope some of these thoughts might be a help to you. For me, it was a life experience I will always look back on with fondness, albeit tempered with the occasional wince & grimace.
