Current reality (unreality?)
Sept. 8, 2024
Trying to negotiate this moment in time is a challenge. Perhaps that is stating the obvious. Balancing my spiritual life with my relationship life (no significant other for way too long) with my engagement with current politics and just trying to keep up with the DMV and the groceries etc.
Oy vey.
I love RFK Jr. but he is trying to make a deal with Trump who is 1. the devil or 2. The uncontrollable wild card necessary to break the stranglehold the deep state has on us all?
This is a whole can of worms in itself and deserves its own essay. For me my single status intrudes constantly on everything else because I feel touch deprived and horny all the time. So it is hard to stay focused on anything else.
I am a big believer in the Serenity Prayer so let’s start with that. Do you remember it? What can I change and what can I not change. Can I change the outcome of the election? I live in IL and plan to vote for RFK Jr. Will that change the outcome of the election. No.
Can I change my relationship status? For sure, and I’m working on it. Do you want to read about that? Perhaps. Do I want to write about it. Sure, I can say a few words. I’ve been married five times, but my last wife passed more than 2 decades ago so I’ve been single way too long.
Have I had lovers? Yeah, but nothing to write home about. Sporadic and unsatisfying. Am I fussy about with whom I am intimate? You betcha! But not unreasonably so. I think finding an intimate relationship was hard before Covid, but much harder after. But perhaps I am just making excuses.
I’m 81 so the fact that I live below the poverty line according to Uncle Sam is probably the primary reason I am alone. As Fats Waller memorably wrote and sang: “ No romance without finance”. ♫♪♫
I have issues with money. We live in such a materialistic world and I realized long ago that money does in fact not buy happiness, but it can sure rent it for a while, right Charlie Harper? No that is not happiness, that is just a bit of pleasure. Big difference, right?
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So here I am on Medium sharing my story for what? To make a little green energy and hopefully share a bit of whatever I have learned along the way.
I am going to start another personal blog very soon, but in the meantime this looks like the ideal venue to vent.
It is Sunday and so far I have spent the day watching some of the Sunday morning news shows, hanging with my friend Skip and his beautiful German Shepard Chase. I brought Chase a new tennis ball as a gift and he dug it in his inimitable dog way. I am trying to make friends with Chase but it has been a bit challenging because as much as I love big dogs and all dogs for that matter, there must be some traumatic experience with German Shepherds buried in me, because I am always very cautious around them and of course they pick up on any fear vibes so it has been a challenge.
As far as the romance dept. goes, I do have a long list of prospects mostly thanks to being active on singles sites online. But I am a fussy old bird. 55 years in ECKANKAR has been wonderful but it has pretty much spoiled me for non-Eckists. I probably should just focus on that pool, but I have known other Eckists who have good relationships with folks on different paths, so I know it is possible. https://www.eckankar.org/
I keep getting inner guidance to just focus on my work and I will attract the right partner at the right moment. So that is why I am here.
And truth to tell, I do enjoy my solitude; it gives me a lot of freedom and I am very freedom loving. I think the ideal girlfriend arrangement I had was where she lived 4 doors down from me. So we could be together conveniently whenever we wanted, but we had our own separate space. In fact this same woman provided easily far and away the most romantic experience I have ever had as a single man.
One day I walked out of my door and there was a path of rose petals. Yes it is a cliche’ but when you experience it yourself it is very fresh, be assured.
You guessed it, it led four doors down. Ah Sarah, you were great. She is gone now. This happens when you become an octogenarian. Lots of folks leave this plane of existence.
So why am I still here? No complaints, but I do have unfinished business for sure. And as Wayne Dyer said, Don’t die with your music still in you. So here is a little more chin music.
I do prefer talking to writing. Conversations with friends are the best. Maybe we will become friends if you keep reading. What say you?
