I worked it out on the remix… with myself
Gay, so confusing — 2026 edition
Insta reminded me of a verse I wrote to ‘Girl, so confusing’ 2 years ago. Note: I’m not a writer, and as I’ve recently discovered, neither is ChatGPT. But this was brat summer and I felt creative. It turned out to be a surprisingly therapeutic exercise.
After reading it back, I instinctively dug out my notebook and wrote something new. Instead of mending a friendship feud, I’m working it out with myself… on the remix. Geddit? Yeah
[ July 2024 ]
Gay, it’s so confusing sometimes to be a gay
Gay, how do you feel being a gay
Man, I don’t know I’m just a gay
Yeah I don’t know if you like me
Sometimes I think you might date me
Sometimes we talk about hookups
Better not mention the fuckups
You always say let’s go out
So we get drunk at a warehouse
Is this really connecting
With our eyes rollin backwards
We’re wearing all the same clothes
And we strive to be queer
I take one look around
Do I belong in here?
I catch myself in the mirror
Mimicking all your language
I thought you were the problem
But I only project your fear
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Gay, it’s so confusing sometimes to be a gay
Gay, how do you feel being a gay
Man, I don’t know I’m just a gay
You said you wanna stay open
And keep me on the side
But your messages slow
Once you know I’m a si-i-ide
Why is this all about sex
Can’t we dance to 360
Don’t care that you like my friend
But I wish that you liked me
How are we meant to move forward
In this splintered safe space
I need a key or a bump
To just survive in this race
And I forget why I’m running
Is this all in my head
No I can’t stop and think
I’ll post a pic instead
Gay, it’s so confusing sometimes to be a gay
Gay, how do you feel being a gay
Man, I don’t know I’m just a gay
[ July 2026 ]
Well honestly I was gagging
When I opened up my old letter
It feels like everything changed
Yet am I stuck in the same place?
Can’t seem to swallow this pill
The bitterness it still lingers
No they don’t live in my head
Are these the words of a stranger
Cos for the last couple years
I’ve felt like the only one changing
If I’m alone on this journey
Should I just go all the way back?
Watch them fading away
Chasing highs and the riches
But I can’t lower my standards
Guess I’m a bitch oh well
Gay, you walk like a fag
When I was 12 someone said that
Now I seek validation
In the place I won’t find that
I believed my projection
I think I finally get it
Forgot that out on the dancefloor
The wounded hearts keep on beating.
