FILLER-EPISODE
So, I begun and abandoned three articles. It was mainly out of laziness. Okay, not so much laziness but rather a this-feels-forced sort of thing. Writing has always come naturally to me, and whenever it becomes a chore, I abhor it. I am creative, so much so that I end up underestimating myself at times.
If you’re a regular on my blog, I want to say a big thank you to you. You’re a superstar and I deeply appreciate you taking time to peruse my unedited mediocrity. Nah, who am I kidding? I am clearly employing self-deprecation as an attempt to humble brag and insulate me from whatever criticisms may arise about my work.
In some ways, that’s a summary of my life — knowing I’m good at something, not putting in the required effort and then pretending I’m terrible at it. Wait, if you’re a regular you’re already familiar with my sob story and ridiculous attempts at psychoanalysis. Today, I’ll reward you with some fiction. Whatever you’re about to read is literally being created without me having thought about the overall structure. Let’s go.
In a small village, there lived a young boy. The young boy had three parents. He hated two of them and loved one. He hated two of his parents because they were gay and he was homophobic. The parent he loved was a woman, his mother, apparently. She had married two men and they both contributed semen to conceive the young boy.
One day, the young boy went out into the woods to hunt for some food. He had grown tired of eating only mushrooms and other veggies from his hippie parents. He wanted a real meal, and the animal that was in front of him looked appetizing enough. It was an elk. Its majestic horns seemed to extend into the vastness of the forest, and it had its eyes set on the young boy.
“You think you’re here to hunt me boy?” The Elk’s voiced boomed at the boy.
Get Ican Kudivo-Sessy’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
“NO! I lured you here boy. From the very start it was always a trap.” The Elk continued, gloating.
The boy moved from his squatting position, and stood up to face the menacing five hundred pound monster before him. The fact that it spoke didn’t fill the boy with any emotions at all. The boy moved his hands to his nose and adjusted his glasses.
“Trap me? Interesting.” The boy stated coldly.
“You will make a majestic addition to my door rug,” the boy added as he vanished from his position within the blink of an eye.
The Elk had absolutely no time to react as its head was already rolling on the floor but the body stood in position not having registered what had gone on yet.
With one hand gesture, the boy divided the Elk’s body into two clean halves. He then dug his fingers into each half and carried the animal away.
In the bush, a few metres away, a pair of eyes watched on. They belonged to the Elk’s lesbian daughter. “Dad…no” it sobbed. The lesbian Elk made a solemn vow to get revenge. A bright light shone from above and descended into the lesbian Elk’s heart — a solemn vow became a binding one.
The End.
