turning 25
when you are 25, you’ll be more sensitive to a wedding party, it’s like it’s too easy not to notice almost every weekend there is a wedding party.
at first it’s just a tingle, and then 2 wedding party, 3 wedding party, 5 wedding party, 7 wedding party, and then you’ll start to feel uneasy
“is there something wrong with me?”
when i’m 23, i feel nothing at all, 24 ? none, 25 ? i had a panic attack. i tried so hard to get into a relationship and everythings failed. the worse part of not getting into relatioship earlier is i don’t know at how to be a good partner. once her heart is broken she’ll memorize it forever.
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when you’re 25, you’ll be asking your self “what the fuck am l doing here”. one of your friend already finish his master. the other are pursuing to her phd. travel to japan. stable 2 digits corporate job.
when you’re 25, you’ll be hit by reality like a truck. you’ll start to learn economy and finance, then you realize, maybe my dream is too big, too big in fact it would take a miracle for that to happen. or “maybe it’s time for a sidejob”
for me. as the first son of the family, sometimes it does feel heavy.. not everytime.. but when ever it’s started to feels like a burden, i always read a small note on my desk.
my favorite poet from rumi.
“if the world pushes you to your knees, you’re in the perfect position to pray.” — Rumi
