gaslighting\no

I know that everything in my head
will someday come true —
everything I thought would happen,
sooner or later …

But suddenly, I heard it
come out of her mouth.
My heart ached so deeply,
a painful disappointment
I thought I had learned to endure.

It happened for many reasons.
I believed I would be used to it.

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But no —
it still feels bittersweet.
Every day, every moment,
I feel so guilty,
like I am never good enough for her.

And maybe that’s true:
I am not her kind of caring — not the love she was hoping to find.

Yet I loved her…

“in the only way I knew how — quietly, imperfectly, and far deeper than words ever managed to say.”