everything and nothing

i used to feel every thing,

every ache, every shade of joy.

i used to be, with every fiber in my body,

every ounce of blood.

perhaps my own being grew tired.

of every feeling,

so deep it could cut universes.

tired of caring, and feeling, and understanding.

i always tried to understand the universe,

now, i try to understand

the universe within myself.

and i try, and try, and try again,

but the answer remains hidden

by my own mind.

isn’t it surreal,

how a being can once hold everything

and now feel nothing at all?