CHAPTER EIGHT
Dear Marcus,
And then you wrote, “Accept humbly. Let go easily.”
God….that’s beautiful. Almost too beautiful to feel real.
Today is my birthday. I turned 22.
I didn’t ask for anything, some as always. I like keeping things chill, just let it be what it is. Maybe that’s why today feels…right. Quiet, but full.
I got three birthday texts this morning, one from him, the rest from mom and Kia. No plans, no party, no dinner, not even a cake. But for some reasons, i woke up earlier than usual, and didn’t feel like going back to sleep. Took my time getting ready, tied my hair back, picked an outfit that just felt so me. Then i took myself out.
And healed to a coffe shop for a caffe latte, less sugar. Not as good as Nakoa’s caffe latte, the one ka Riko make just right, but whatever…..
Sipped the bitter coffe, then took myself to the beach, eventho it was kinda late to really catch that salty, fresh ocean smell. No music along the way, just the hum of the road and my brain, for once, quiet. At a red light, i saw the car in front, stacked with pink flower on the roof. A few slipped off as it moved, falling slow like petals picking their own patch of ground. And i thought…maybe the world’s got these quiet little ways of celebrating with you, even no one else does.
I sat under the shade of a large Ketapang tree 😂. My iced coffe began to bead with condensation, the ice melting quickly under the sting of the hot air. I let it be…
I ordered a slice of chocolate caramel cake with whipped cream, the kind of the sweetness that make you close your eyes for a moment. Around me, there’s weren’t many people, just a few families on holiday, wrapped in warmth. A stray cat wandered over to me. I didn’t stare for long. I just…let it be. The light shifted through the gaps between the leaves, in quiet conversation with the sound of the waves. Not trying to be beautiful. Just…being.
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Sometimes i think, maybe this is the kind of life i want. Not noisy. Not forced. Just steady, like sunlight that doesn’t ask to be noticed, yet somehow makes everything feel alive. And i feel so lucky, Marcus, to feel things this deeply. This morning might be the closest i’ve come to understanding what you once meant. I didn’t try to make the day special. I didn’t fill it with plans, people, or noise. I simply showed up. And somehow, the day gave something back to me.
Is this what you meant by “accepting humbly” ?. Not resignation, not giving up, just meeting life where it is, without asking to be more. I think i’m starting to understand. Eventho, you always made it sound so simple. I wonder, did it ever feel complicated for you too ? Did you ever wake up on you birthday not knowing how to feel, only to find comfort in the smallest things ?
Maybe that’s the part no one tells you, that the magic isn’t in the grand moments, but in the small, ordinary details we carry without realizing. The ones that stay long after everything else has moved on ; the beads of an iced coffe melting away, flowers tumbling from a stranger’s car, a cat wandering over, the way light moves without needing an audience.
So thank you, Marcus…
For sitting with me today. For reminding me that “enough” doesn’t have to be loud. Sometimes, “enough” is simply a warm plate, a soft light, and a quiet heart that finally feels full.
.
.
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🎵 Delaney Bailey — Love Letter From the Sea to the Shore
