Bowl Games and Speed Dating
Bowl games and all-star games have many things that remind me of speed dating. First, they all have little to no interest to me whatsoever. They are rarely attended by players of any real caliber- you usually get second or third string players who are all just trying for one big shot of fame before fading back into obscurity. Very few people actually pay attention to them, as they don’t have any effect on life as we know it. Most people watching/attending already have other things on their mind and are waiting for the really important stuff to happen.
I should point out that I’ve only done speed dating a couple of times, and never in my current neighborhood, but both times I was rather surprised at the overall mediocrity on both sides of the gender aisle. I don’t just mean attractiveness or intellectual level, though those were also nothing to get revved up about; I’m talking about the absolute lack of any kind of effort put into the whole thing. Jeans and t-shirts, absolutely no care for appearance nor presentation. It felt like a bunch of people who just wanted to show up, maybe find someone desperate enough to get laid, and, if that didn’t work, they’d be trolling the nearest dance club or country bar.
All-star games are the same kind of thing. We’re supposed to be watching the best of the best from both sides coming at one another. You’d think it would be a showdown, a great game, something everyone would watch. Instead, it’s a snoozefest. Most of the actual MVPs don’t show up (why risk getting injured in a game that doesn’t mean anything??), and the ones who do aren’t really trying. I don’t know if they get paid extra for doing that or what, but, honestly… sheesh.
Same score with bowl games. Don’t mistake me, I did sort of enjoy watching whatever bowl USC played this week, but that’s also because I’ve not watched any college football this year, and their quarterback was performing well. I tried not to remember that he was throwing against a second- or third-string defense, but the thought did nag at me. Likewise, I just checked up on the Notre Dame game from yesterday- surprise! No names I knew in the stats, no real meaning, we might as well have just stayed home. After all, if it’s not a playoff bowl, what difference does it make?? There’s not even much of an attempt to bring home the honor of a bowl title; there are so damn many bowls out there that don’t really mean anything anyway.
It kind of clicks with the idea of participation trophies and the like. I never knew the appeal of such things; it’s like, wow, I got the same trophy/ribbon as everyone else, and I’m supposed to act like it’s something meaningful? Like not keeping score at a kid’s sporting event- come the fuck on with that. We all know those kids are keeping score, they know who’s winning and losing, and that’s an important part of life- you learn to handle it.
Just so, these players demonstrably know these bowls mean nothing, and that’s why they don’t bother showing up. Yet these bowls, most of which have some corporate name or other inserted in, are crammed down our throats from here to the beyond during the holiday week, all the while the bowls that matter are governed by a selection process that is as nonsensical as it is corrupt.
And yes, I say corrupt. I am not a Florida State fan, but I do believe it’s nothing short of criminal how an unbeaten team was shoved out of the number 4 spot just so Alabama could go to the playoffs again. Texas shut Alabama down early in the season, and they’ve struggled since. They barely beat Texas A&M, even more narrowly got by Auburn and Arkansas (not exactly high caliber teams, and Alabama got by them with a field goal). Yet what did the committee say was the determining factor?
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Florida State’s quarterback was injured, so it might not be as high-caliber a game.
Might as well use a magic 8 ball.
Look, I’ve been getting turned off by college football for a long time now, mostly because top 25 rankings are little short of a joke anymore. I’ve watched teams that lost one game to a top-ranked team somehow get ranked massively lower than another team that got their asses handed to them by an unranked team, and it’s all because the coaches and committee want to act like they know better.
I’m not going to say there isn’t some blatant corruption in the NFL, especially where it comes to scheduling, but at least they have a clear selection format that depends on math, not predictions and the hope for more ratings.
And congrats to all my Mizzou fan friends who got all kinds of excited about their (unexpected) victory this week. Glad to see it made you happy; I even chose not to ask any of you how far down the string Ohio State’s lineup was, playing in yet another bowl that didn’t really mean anything.
At any rate, that’s the current level of thought in my little neck of the woods. Nothing much going on here on this fine Saturday night. Except that my housemate’s date got canceled last minute, so she’s stuck in her head space in the living room, thus my presence upstairs and writing instead. As I’ve said multiple times previous, I love my housemate, one of my best friends, but it doesn’t take much and then she’s sitting in her recliner, wrapped up in her bathrobe, listening to podcasts and looking like, well Ross from the first episode of Friends.
Our Lady of Perpetual Misery strikes again.
And don’t get me wrong- I know all too well how much it sucks to have plans canceled, especially last minute. Hell, I’m living it at the moment! I came home from mass, expecting a quiet night home alone, eating leftover lasagna and watching movies that she couldn’t stand, and, instead… crap, every time I pass through that room, I just feel tired, drained. It’s like walking through a fucking wake down there.
Last night before New Year’s. Hope everyone has their party lined up, a safe way to get there and home from, and, regardless of what you’ll be doing, here’s hoping for a better start to 2024.
