Lone Wanderer
Some says that when you travel alone, you’ll get to know the real you.
It’s quite odd for some people to take a solo trip. But this time, this journey is a way for me to find, reintroduce, and reinvent myself to myself. A way of dealing of those complicated thoughts that fucked up my head.
Did I find the answer? Well, not yet. But at least, I reinvented myself in a place where I could be anyone, anything.
“In Bali, you can do anything, you can be anything, nobody cares and you can be yourself!” — said a stranger
A strong statements for a lost boy like me and it triggered the reinventing process.
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We live in imperfect world, born in an imperfect families, spawned in a polluted surroundings and you could never choose the womb that gave birth to you, the traits that were inherited in you and with all those facts, we’ll tend to make mistakes, we’ll fall, we’ll fail.
Winter and storms is always coming. We are weak and vulnerable. But I learned that I should only accept it, embrace it and try to see things differently. Accept it for this is an art of being a human. We can start to see things differently when we take time to stop, look around, evaluate, and rest. Our rest determines our performance.
Now, I’m trying to accept those failures and disappointments as a connecting dots that I believe someday will connect me to a better future. I admitted that it created a supermassive big hole and left me in agony. Accept, swallow, consume it.
Time won’t heal, our acceptance and understanding will.
Reinventing completely and rebuild it from the ground up.
This solo journey was the most spiritual trip I’ve ever made. Bali is a spiritual place for an agony and troubled soul like me. And the most spiritual thing that I can do is to get some rest. And I was taking a rest from those polluted noise, toxic surroundings and begin to accept, respect, and value myself. Knowing who we really are will create a firm and strong foundation that cannot be shaken by any storms. Bali, an unfamiliar place, yet I found my life back here. The unknown and frightening becomes my new normal.
There and back again, Bali.
