Jamilla: Blog Story Musing
Hey everyone! I’m here.
Have you ever just wanted a do-over? You know…. do over your whole entire life. Yea, yea, I know we can’t but it would be good idea. Okay maybe not a total do-over but how about just enough do-over to figure things out? Okay not you. Well how about you get to a place in life (arbitrary) and you discover you don’t know you anymore. You don’t know where to go. What to do. The meaning of it all. Heck, you just don’t even like who you are and don’t know why. Well, welcome to my world. What world? Me. Jamilla.
I woke up one day and not suddenly mind you, I just wanted something more, different or not at all. Just woke up gradually day after day wondering a lot of things and couldn’t find those answers. Woke up and just got tired of being what others thought I was. Woke up guilty. Woke up happy. Woke up tired. Woke up.
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This is my on going story. A blog story. I’m not even sure that is a real thing. I think it is but if not I think I just created a new social media something or other. So what is this “blog story”? Well, it’s me, the real woman, but in a fictional setting, here… talking to you about whatever I need to. Why am I doing this? Because I need to find myself. I need to find the real “Jamilla” (not my real name of course).
You see, the woman I have become is not the woman I think I want to be. But, maybe it is. We will see when this journey ends. I think I am a version of what others want me to be. I think I need to go on a journey of discovery but I want to take you with me. Now where will we land? I don’t know really because I am not sure what I am looking for. This story blog is my dumping place. You know the place where I can be the real me but in the fictional me, that is not required to do anything or be anything. The real me that doesn’t have to wear the mask. The me that can say what she wants because no one knows me here. It’s safe. It is where I can work out the wrinkles of life and possibly, just possibly….. come back to the real me and realize I was her all along.
This is a journey. Check in when you want to. The blog story never really ends. Let’s say it just evolves. Right now you don’t know me. You know nothing about me — except I am female. You know that this is my story. You know that you will learn with me. Learn what? We don’t know. Do you need a journey? If you do, come travel with me. Let’s see where we end up.
So, let’s begin. Wait. We will do that tomorrow. Lace up, boot up, snack up, get up.
See you then.
Jamilla
