Embracing Uncertainty
A number of years ago, I came upon FreeCodeCamp and worked my way through their front-end curriculum. I had very little experience with coding, just memories of simple programs in a middle school computer class, and being told by a graduate school professor not to bother with Python (why did I listen?). But I had always been interested in math and science, and, while I struggled to teach myself some concepts (recursion, anyone?), I found that I really enjoyed the puzzle aspect of coding, particularly JavaScript and algorithms. I like making things.
To be fair, I’ve always looked for ways to meld my technical and creative impulses. Whether through printmaking and the precision it requires, or through my longtime interest in environmental studies, which requires understanding both the science of physical processes and the social and economic constructs that govern human behavior, I’ve tried to find activities that draw upon all of my strengths to flourish.
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Software engineering felt like a space in which I could succeed. It requires knowledge, which can be taught, but also creativity, patience, and a willingness to learn new skills in this dynamic but unstable world that we live in. Like many people, I’ve already changed careers a few times. I’ve worked in publishing and education, with a focus on science and the environment, and have always been interested in the environment and science literacy more broadly.
I started FreeCodeCamp’s back-end curriculum, but I found this more difficult to teach myself, and my studies fell by the wayside as I settled into a new job. In the past year or so, though, I found myself thinking about coding again. When you spend more time making Excel macros to make your job easier, than on the job responsibilities themselves, maybe it’s time to consider a different career.
So I dived into Codecademy, Codewars, and Nand to Tetris. I did a bootcamp prep course through Fullstack, and ultimately ended up choosing Flatiron to continue my studies.
When I reflect more deeply on this journey, I wonder about the subtle (and not so subtle) forces that may have led me here, and the implications of those forces for my future professional choices. For example, growing up, I was always one of the few girls in my math classes, but I never pursued math professionally. Why? What effect may documented dynamics (e.g., gender bias, stereotype threat, imposter syndrome) have had on me in these spaces? Similarly, my college didn’t offer engineering, and I’ve always wondered what direction I would have taken if it did.
Software engineering thus, in some ways, represents an active rebuttal against those barriers, both real and imagined, internal and external, beyond a purely practical interest in coding as an interesting technical exercise. I am here and I am ready to learn and I am ready to stand up for myself in all spaces. I am ready to embrace uncertainty and flexibility — and through that flexibility, reach towards sustainable, long-term longevity in an unpredictable world.
