miss righteous

I am hurt.

If my confidence
is what you call self-righteous,
would you prefer me miserable instead?

You tell me to stop getting ahead of myself.
What does that even mean
when my mind has never moved in one direction?

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My whole life,
I see past, present, future
in flashes,
like I’ve already been there,
like I’ve survived it once already.

And you tell me not to bother.
You say I don’t have to think about it.

But you’re asking me
not to bother with the very thing
that made me myself.

So tell me,
do you want me smaller,
or just quieter
about who I am?