I found ME.

I thought I had it all figured out.

I eat healthy, I exercise, I fast, and for the first time in ages, I am finally losing weight.

I’m even getting on with my Level 4 Diploma in Health and Social Care.

Do you know what? Even my sink is usually empty nowadays! (which for me is an ultimate win, and I never thought I would get there — is it just a part of getting older?)

And yet, the spirit is starving.

Starving for connection with ME.

I know, because today I have (accidently) managed to reconnect. In a bath, whilst listening to Ecuadorian folk (?), I heard myself again. I felt that vibration of creativity. Every breath was a prayer.

I’ve spent an hour and half wandering through the land of fantasy — a reality where I was free, where I was the master of my time and in that freedom, I only did what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it.

As I played with all those feelings, I felt the stagnation shifting.

Why am I so serious about everything? — I thought to myself.

Where is Izzy, who used to catch tadpoles in the park to sell them for 10 Polish groszy? (certainly an award for the most original business idea as a child goes to me :) ) Where is the girl who used to organise parties for kids who needed a break from a hard home situation? Where is that crazy geek who found pleasure in spending hours learning new skills?