The Things We Do For Love
Have you ever watched a swan glide across still water, appearing completely weightless while carrying a depth of devotion beneath the surface?
Swans are famous for mating for life, but when you look around, you realize that people find love in so many different ways. It isn’t just about a romantic partner but it’s in the quiet, steady bond of family, the deep loyalty between true friends, and the gentle ways we choose to care for one another.
Love shows up in countless everyday forms, each one carrying its own kind of grace.
Love takes so many different forms. You can find it in a close friendship, inside your family, or even in a small, unexpected act of kindness from a stranger.
But if you were to ask me what love really is, I would answer it in a way nobody expects.
These past few months feel as though they happened just yesterday. There was a girl I liked. She was pretty, brilliant, and as fate would have it, we shared the exact same opportunity to go on an international internship in Hong Kong. In every way, she was the very definition of my standard.
She was in the Computer Engineering department, while I was in Electrical Engineering. We actually shared a class together a few years back, but I never got the chance to really know her. I was usually running late or missing class altogether, a missed opportunity to get closer long before this internship brought us together.
At first, as I began to get to know her, I was immediately drawn to her beauty. But beneath that, she had a distinct personality that left me completely taken aback, making me want to know who she truly was on a much deeper level.
We often talked about how only two students would be accepted out of the six applicants. It was a tough competition, especially knowing that every single students brought so much potential to the table.
We exchanged conversations about the internship for goodness knows how long. She was so easy to talk to, so warm and friendly, that I constantly found myself looking for any reason just to talk to her again.
When the results finally came, turns out both of us were accepted. I was over the moon. The very first thing that came to my mind was to message her right away, just to ask if she had gotten accepted too.
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As the departure date drew closer, we found ourselves meeting at the city to gather the remaining travel documents we needed. I found her especially attractive that day. She was so easy to hang out with, and even though she showed a slight playfully sharp, witty side, it only made me more curious to know her on a deeper level.
Looking back, those early days in Hong Kong feel less like a sequence of calendar dates and more like a quiet awakening. Stepping into that city fulfilled a long-held dream of interning abroad, but dreamscapes mean very little without someone to share their horizons. Having her by my side transformed an achievement into an anchor.
True devotion, I realized, lives in the small, uncelebrated nuances we choose to hold close. I found myself committing every piece of her to memory, not as mere facts, but as sacred details of who she was. I remembered room 414, the precise way she preferred her Milo served with ice, and her quiet insistence on having rice with every meal. Whenever she spoke, offering glimpses into the intricate corners of her mind, I wasn’t just listening. I was falling, completely captivated by thequiet beauty of her world.
Yet beneath all those butterflies was a constant, restless tide of overthinking. Even though we were assigned to different projects, I continually looked for any excuse just to spend time by her side.
Then, during our first few weeks, she fell ill. Watching her sick shook me to the very core of my bones. All I wanted was to care for her, bringing her medicine in the hope of restoring her strength.
Not long after she recovered, she invited me to go on a hike with her. Truthfully, I have never loved hiking, and I was already exhausted. But fear and devotion have a way of overruling fatigue. Worried that she might overexert herself so soon after being sick, I gathered every ounce of courage and energy I had to stand up and join her. I simply couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to her when she had only just healed.
Until, gradually, the quiet truth began to settle in. I realized that she held a standard for men that simply did not include me. She was looking for qualities that I clearly did not possess. Intellectually, I knew it was time to step back and move on, yet my heart refused to catch up with my mind. There were days when thoughts of her lingered incessantly, aching down to the very core of my bones.
Even with the quiet understanding that I could never have her, I still gave her everything I could. I gave her my last sachets of Milo, bought her Buldak and ice cream, and treated her to early breakfasts at McDonald’s just to see her smile. Every small gesture was born from genuine devotion, but beneath it all, the painful realization of unrequited affection began to make me question my own worth and the boundaries of my self-love.
Every single day became a constant cycle of heartbreak, pain, and heavy realizations. I reached a point where the weight was simply too heavy to carry in silence. I realized I desperately needed to vent out my feelings for her, not because I expected a fairytale ending, but because I couldn’t handle holding it inside any longer. I was running empty, no longer strong enough to stand up and keep fighting a battle I knew I had already lost.
So, I made up my mind. I decided that I would confess my feelings at the airport on our way back home. When that day finally arrived, I found myself walking in nervous circles across the departure hall, my pulse racing with every step. But at last, I gathered every remnant of my courage, walked up to her, and spoke my heart.
Before she could speak, I gently asked her not to give me an answer. A necessary boundary to protect what was left of my heart from further pain. Yet, I will never forget what she said to me in that quiet conversation. She told me I was brave for confessing. Contrary to every fear that had kept me awake at night, the moment turned out to be far lighter and kinder than I ever imagined.
And just like that, the lingering pain began to wash away. Releasing the secret allowed me to finally breathe again, leaving me with a peaceful heart where hurt used to live.
And if I were to answer that question from earlier, I have found love to be the most fascinating force in existence. It is not defined merely by whether it is returned, but by how it unravels the depth of what we are capable of feeling. Through this journey, I proved to myself that I possess a genuine, profound capacity to love, to care selflessly, to stand by someone through uncertainty, and to hold every single detail about a person close to my heart.
More than anything, it taught me the quiet beauty of self-love. I learned that choosing to honor my feelings and protect my own peace wasn’t a defeat, but a crowning act of self-respect. In the end, that devotion was never wasted. Like the swan gliding across the water, carrying a quiet weight unseen beneath the surface, I carry with me the quiet proof of how deeply I can feel. And that, in itself, is a beauty I will hold onto forever.
