Did the Romans Like Swearing?

It is one of the great incongruities of the English language that, despite being one of the most versatile and malleable forms of linguistic communication among the world’s great tongues, it is also, at times, downright baffling. Nobody can explain why, to any satisfactory degree, all letters ‘C’ in the words “Pacific Ocean” are pronounced differently, for example. They just are. And if anyone can talk me through how a non-English speaker is meant to rationalise words that end “-ough”, then please, knock yourself out.

At the same time, English allows for a freedom of expression that some other languages can only stare at with sullen jealousy. That’s not to say that these languages cannot spread their linguistic wings and peacocks around the room — just ask French, the showy little bastard. But English is, maybe, the one language in which linguistic expression is not so much guided by rules as it takes the rules and fucks them off into the nearest canal.

In particular, British English, which, after all, is just English, has an amazing ability to form swear words out of seemingly nothing at all. All English-speaking nations are very good at rude words, but the British have a remarkable ability to form rude phrases from everyday words that seem entirely innocent on their own.