THE THINGS I CAN NEVER UNSEE
Veterans Day, November 11th, is only a few days away. As a Vietnam veteran, it was an honor to serve my country, but combat was no privilege I hold dear. In the battlefields and the jungle, my body and senses became sharper than anything I’d ever known. I became part of the uniform, trudging through rain, mud, smoke, and fire, barely hanging on to my sanity, knowing I was one step from fracturing.
I cannot say my body didn’t crumble under it all. Day after day, we waded through water thick with mud, leeches, and insects hungry for our blood. There was no escape from that slow rot.
The injuries to my neck, shoulder, leg, and foot would never leave me. The pain still comes, sharp, familiar. My skin flares up in rashes, and there is a constant need for ointment and medication to deal with recurring infection and pain.
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Everything and everyone were trying to kill us. We feared incoming artillery and airstrikes equally, because the ground was their only accurate target. The coordinates we called in for support made us targets, too. The intelligence? Outdated by the time we got it.
Sometimes I wondered about the lives we took. I never thought I’d regret it, but moments came more than once. “Look what they made us do,” one of the men said, standing over the bodies of children mistaken for the enemy. The war kept coming, and nothing ever changed. Each day brought a new horror to haunt you. And when you thought it couldn’t get worse, it did. It always did. Surviving wasn’t about glory. It was about getting through the filth, the horror, and the endless decay.
This is the war that followed me home. And still, civilians wonder why we can’t come back from it.
“Vietnam Uncensored — 365 Days in a Nightmare” reveals the depth and emotional weight of the Vietnam War and what happened to my squad during the most violent years of the conflict. Amazon and Goodreads have received over a thousand 4.5- to 5-star reviews. Read the first chapter and the NPR-broadcast ghost story at https://vietnamjerry.com. Buy the book and help veterans through the Kaufman Fund, since all profits benefit veterans. Thanks.
