Lessons Learned: Reflections on Retirement, One Month In
I retired in November, ending a 42-year career in legal publishing, the last 15 of them as a senior editor at Bloomberg where I managed the retirement law content for Bloomberg Law.
Legal publishing was a good career choice for me. The job was steady, the pay and benefits were good, the hours were reasonable. I was able to provide for my family while having some free time to pursue other interests.
I knew I would retire at some point, I just didn’t know when. There was no one moment where the lightbulb went off; rather, I had simply reached the point where the rewards of continuing to work no longer justified the costs of doing so. I was done.
Having decided to retire, my first reaction was one of relief. I could move on with my life.
Or so I told myself. Soon the relief gave way to anxiety. The questions mounted. Did I retire at the right time? What would I do in retirement? Had my wife and I saved enough for retirement? Could we make ends meet? What financial barriers might we face?
All valid questions. And ones that I thought I had to answer immediately.
It reminded me of the movie Everything Everywhere All at Once . The questions pressed down on me, demanding an immediate resolution.
Only now, one month in, do I understand that I didn’t have to put that pressure on myself. Not every question can be addressed in the moment.
This was my first lesson: I needed to deal with the emotional challenges of retiring. The other issues can wait.
If, like me, you find yourself at loose ends in retirement, I hope you can benefit from these lessons also.
One day the job is there; the next it isn’t. No one took it from me. I left the job voluntarily.
That doesn’t make the loss any easier. If anything, it makes it more difficult.
But I had not anticipated how intensely I would feel the loss.
I was in mourning for the end of my career. Once I acknowledged the loss, I found it became easier to move on from it.
I hope you will find that to be the case also.
While mourning that your career is over, take the time to take stock of your achievements.
In my case, I kept 4 retirement manuals updated, produced practical guidance helping practitioners deal with their real-world issues, and was considered the go-to person on my off on retirement questions. That’s a legacy I am proud of.
As I did, carve out time to reflect on your achievements as you look back on your career.
The job is gone, but your friendships don’t have to be.
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Over 15 years, I got to know many of my co-workers. I want to keep those connections going. So, before I left, I went to each of them and got their contact information.
It’s one thing to commit to staying in touch, another thing to actually do so. Your colleagues still have their jobs to perform and responsibilities outside of work to attend to. So you may have to take the lead on that.
In a episode of the original Twilight Zone, 36-year-old ad executive Martin Sloan, feeling overwhelmed because of the pressures of his job, decides to take a stroll back to his hometown while awaiting work on his car.
Martin soon realizes that he has gone back in time 25 years. He encounters his 11-year-old self, and sets out to tell the boy that this is a wonderful time of life. But the older Martin’s presence makes things worse. He chases his younger self around a merry-go-round, causing the boy to fall off and injure himself.
His father comes onto the scene, and after reassuring the older Martin the injury to the boy isn’t serious, insists that older Martin leave, because it’s not fair to make his younger self share the summer with him.
As they part ways, the father asks Martin, was it really so bad where you were from?
The adult Martin replies, he thought so, and he just had to get away.
“You’ve been looking behind you Martin. Try looking ahead,” the father advises.
One month into retirement, I agree: Try looking ahead.
Retirement is not without its financial challenges. While you were working, a regular paycheck allowed you to pay your bills, save for your children’s education, take a vacation.
Take that paycheck away, and you have to find other ways to make ends meet. Having a plan for doing that is essential.
But you can’t anticipate every contingency. You’ve no choice but to spend money on the mandatory things, and you also want to feel at ease spending money on the things that bring you pleasure.
My older brother had good advice on that score. “Watch your spending, but don’t stress over it.”
Working gave us a structure. A destination each day. A way to fill up the time productively.
Take that away, and what are your left with?
Some people may appreciate being unmoored from a routine.
Not me. I need some kind of structure. The question is how do I put a new one together?
One step at a time, it turns out. For me, they consist of these: attending exercise class twice a week, watching Perry Mason re-runs in the morning, blogging (at joelustig.wordpress.com ), playing pickleball; organizing a French speakers club in the community where I live.
As we enter the new year, I will also explore volunteering, perhaps working part-time.
Retirement is supposed to open up new doors and possibilities, after all.
I hope you can find your way to that new beginning also.
Originally published at https://www.linkedin.com.
