White Chocolate

I was the hassle in “No Hassle.” Let me explain. When the holiday season comes around, major credit card companies like Capital One, know they better get those debts collected before Christmas time or else. Or else the customers, the consumers, spend it on gifts, cheap Chinese made crap for their kids. Now get that money out of them before it’s too late.

I was a temporary hire just during the holiday rush. I tried to stay relaxed with the large pool of applicants, many of the African persuasion. I smiled at a few of those ebony beauties before we were hustled into conference rooms, and shown how to use the call system software we would be using. A few days later we were wished well and sent out on the office floor.

We sat in a pod of cubicles, next to another pod of cubicles. Each pod was governed by a pit boss. An elder statesman of the collecting trade, and there to make sure your temporary butt is getting that dough collected from these customers, the custies, before the holidays. Luckily for us, Jennifer, our pit boss, was rarely there.

“Yo Man, wassup White Chocolate.”

These guys called me White Chocolate now because when we’d been walking to the cafeteria for lunch one day and they were playing on Eddie Murphy’s bit from Coming to America about the band Sexual Chocolate. I had recognized Sexual Chocolate and these black guys were…