7/22/2019
Leaving your spouse at the hospital and going home to an empty apartment has to be the loneliest feeling in the world. Even my natural inclination to be chipper and joyful could not stand up to the onslaught of helplessness I felt. The Bach Cello Suite did not bring any additional comfort. Every time I tried to cheer myself up, I found out how empty the things I turned to were.
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By what some call luck, this afternoon I turned my Spotify to a bluegrass artist I had never listened to. After a few typical bluegrass songs, the Gospel song I Can’t Even Walk played. I was struck by how this song explained my situation. The second verse was almost me to a tee.
I thought I could do a lot on my own
I thought I could make it all day long
I thought of myself as a mighty big man
but Lord I can’t even walk
without you holding my hand
I need to find my rest in God, my peace in the Rock, my refuge in His everlasting arms (Deut. 33:27). I want to learn to trust God like the Psalmist does.
Psalm 91:1–2. He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress,
My God, in whom I trust!”
From now on I will repeat with the Psalmist “The Lord’s my Shepherd; I shall not want” (Psalm 23:1), The Lord is “My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust” (Psalm 91:2), “You have been our dwelling place in all generations (Psalm 90:1), “Turn to me, and be gracious to me; Oh grant Your strength to Your servant, and save the son of Your handmaid”(Psalm 86:16).
