Reclaiming Wellness
We want the same things for our families, so why aren’t we talking to each other?
I just got back from a whirlwind three days at a women’s wellness retreat. If you’ve been reading here for a while, you might be surprised to hear that, since I talk often about the predatory side of the wellness industry and the people who bill themselves as experts and gurus. This event was different. This wasn’t a retreat about the benefits of raw milk or coffee enemas, and I think we need to accept that wellness is a spectrum. Plenty of people who resonate with “wellness” aren’t inherently anti-science. Without getting too in the weeds, I was involved in the planning as a scientific advisor, helping make sure the information shared was credible. Most of the women attending as guests don’t have a background in medicine or science, and many of them are wellness and lifestyle creators with big audiences of their own. We did share a common denominator, though. All of us want to feel well, and we want the same for our families.
I’ve attended hundreds of events and conferences over my career, and nearly all of them have been with people in my own field, whether that’s public health, academic science, or some other information-sharing setting full of like-minded folks. I understand the value of those rooms. We trade the latest and greatest information, and there’s real camaraderie in being around people who share your life’s work. I’ve also grown tired of only talking with people whose Venn diagram of science literacy and worldview overlaps with mine almost completely.
This weekend there were olive oil tastings, perfume bars, and (heck) even palm readers. I didn’t get a reading myself (and no, I don’t think being a Leo decides my fate, though I’ll admit my eyes skim a horoscope now and then), but I watched it work as a catalyst for the women who did. The readings got people talking about their fears, their hopes, and their dreams, and the conversations that followed had very little to do with the lines on anyone’s palm. I walked in to gorgeous floral walls, welcome bags full of treats and trinkets, and ring lights as far as the eye could see, and I thought to myself, Toto, we aren’t in Kansas anymore. The last 72 hours turned out to be more valuable than I can say. So, why aren’t we sitting down with people whose circles only overlap with ours a little? What did a room full of wellness and lifestyle creators actually want to talk about, and what does that mean for those of us who communicate science? Let’s discuss…
What the women at the retreat wanted to talk about
Most of my conversations were about our changing bodies, our kids, feeding our kids, the different stages of our lives, and our relationships with our partners. I rode in elevators full of women comparing notes on perimenopause and thinning hair and what they were doing to try to slow down the changes they’re noticing. It was a nice reminder that I’m not just a sci comm robot, and I, too, want to know which skin creams can help with my crow’s feet. I heard a lot about women navigating chronic illness and medical gaslighting. I heard about daily routines and prepping school lunches. That day-to-day stuff can seem small to those of us who spend our time on policy and outbreaks, but for most people, it is the whole point.
The request I heard most often was some version of “just tell me what I should eat (or not eat), what I should do (or not do), what I should put on my skin.” People wanted clear, practical answers they could use in their everyday lives. I heard far fewer detailed questions about pesticides or microplastics, the topics that seem to dominate so much wellness content online.
Vaccines and politics never came up
Not once did I hear the v word. Nobody mentioned measles, or any of the issues that feel so existential and all-consuming to those of us in public health and science communication right now. Those issues still matter enormously, and I’ll keep writing about them. Kids, on the other hand, came up constantly, along with how much we love them and want to set them up for long, happy, healthy lives. That’s exactly what vaccines are for, and it’s what those of us working on them want for our own kids, too. We’re all saying and wanting the same things. So, how can we better draw the line between the two? The weekend was a reminder that the things keeping me up at night may not register at all for many of the people I’m hoping to reach.
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Politics didn’t come up either. I’m sure there was a mix of views in the room, but for three days we were women, mothers, and daughters, and party affiliation never entered the conversation. There’s something to that.
Why I sat next to people who sell supplements and “clean” skincare
I sat side by side with people I never imagined I would, including founders of supplement lines and “clean beauty” brands. As I write this, what makes me most nervous is how my own science communication community will react. I can already picture someone asking why I was sitting next to a person with “clean” in their social media tagline. So, no, this is not me slipping into the dark side of wellness. You will never see me with a promo code for a detox or a supplement line of my own.
There is a big difference between co-signing those products and talking with the people behind them. The clean beauty founder I spent time with told me she’s horrified by how the word “clean” has been hijacked to the point of meaning nothing, and that synthetic ingredients aren’t inherently bad. I watched self-described wellness gurus clap along when speakers said we don’t need to panic over a long ingredient list or an ingredient we can’t pronounce. I was also able to shed some light on a couple of concepts I talk about constantly, like the idea that the dose makes the poison, and that “non-toxic” is a marketing buzzword with no scientific definition behind it. Plenty of the moms in rooms like this one have tried a wild yam cream that promises to tame their perimenopause symptoms (by the way, your body can’t turn wild yam into progesterone!), and yet also vaccinate their kids on schedule. We agree with them on far more than we tend to assume, and that common ground is what makes it possible to have the harder conversations about the things we don’t agree on. We have to stop writing these people off entirely. How will we achieve anything if we’re only talking to ourselves?
What I’m bringing back to my own work
I was really proud to see quality content shared in a way that felt relatable, relevant, and palatable, and to watch wellness folks and influencers mixing with MDs, chemists, and public health folks over the course of the weekend. I’ve been talking about meeting people where they are for years. This weekend I actually did it, and I feel like part of my brain has been flipped on. The women I met are curious, and they want the best for themselves and their families. Putting out evidence-based information is critical, and we also have to do it in a way that reaches people who will never attend a biology conference. For me, that means showing up in rooms like this one, starting with the questions people are actually asking (what to eat, how to handle a changing body, how to get a doctor to take them seriously), and being willing to sit next to someone I don’t fully agree with.
There’s so much more I want to say, and I suspect this is the first of a few pieces on it. In the meantime, I’d love to hear from everyone in the room. If you work in science or public health, when did you last sit down with someone outside your circle? And if you’re here for plain answers, what everyday health question do you wish someone would just answer?
Stay Curious,
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