Granola vs. Gun Racks: Why Can’t We Be Friends?
How to Effectively Communicate and Build Bridges with the American Right-Wing — PARTS 1–3
Part 1 of 3
Abstract
In this article, Ingram explores his unique ability to communicate across the political divide, drawing on his history as a “liberal sandwich” (going from Democrat to Republican and back to Democrat) who has identified with both sides of the spectrum. He argues that current progressive methods of yelling and name-calling are counterproductive to preventing a potential civil war. Instead, he advocates for a radical shift toward listening, gaining context directly from right-wing sources, and recognizing the shared humanity of those we often demonize.
The narrative challenges the “ivory tower” elitism of the Left, highlighting how evangelical communities often provide the material support for the marginalized that secular organizations have abandoned. Jason shares insights into why individuals convert to fundamentalism, emphasizing that these choices are often rooted in a search for safety and family. Ultimately, he calls for a movement based on identifying common ground rather than seeking forced ideological assimilation. By valuing the contributions of the working class and veterans, he demonstrates how to disarm hostility and build lasting bridges.
How to Effectively Communicate and Build Bridges with the American Right-Wing
The Unusual Gift of Bridge Building
My name is Jason, and I have an unusual gift. This gift enables me to identify with people and communicate with them tactfully, especially regarding those who oppose my views or my current voting record. In case you have wondered, I am what you would call a liberal, a progressive, or whatever label you prefer. I’ve spent most of my life voting for Democrats and social justice causes, participating as much as I can in things that align with that worldview.
However, there are traits I possess that are very unusual, which enable me to do this level of bridge-building to the point of changing some minds. I must point out that, as far as I can tell, I’ve not completely changed a mind. Then again, I’m not interested in converting anybody to American left-wing rhetoric and especially all of the cultural baggage that comes with who we are — including some of the toxic elements and hypocrisy of the American left.
I also don’t want people to convert to my way of thinking only to become an academic snob who puts people down for their past associations. I’ve seen that in many “liberal converts” — folks who call themselves “enlightened” following what they cite as a paradigm shift.
Well, I’ve had two paradigm shifts in my life. Believe me, one is enough to really mess with your head, mess with your life, and cause a major crisis that could hurt yourself and everyone around you if you’re not careful. It’s as if you’re going from one superiority complex to a different form of a superiority complex, not realizing that you are remaining in a superiority complex — just identifying with more granola and less gun rack.
Misconceptions and Hostility
Among the myriad of misconceptions from fellow progressives about why I do what I do, how I do it, and whether I am telling the truth about this gift, there are knee-jerk reactions that cause confusion and fear. For the most part, people project their hostility toward what they consider their “enemies” onto me for some strange reason.
I will start with that, because it is a very strange way to treat someone who basically agrees with your views, just not your methods. I don’t see what’s so horrible about disagreeing with someone’s methods, especially when, in my experiences in recent years, their main method is to scream, yell, call people names, and engage in other forms of aggression and hostility.
Some may call it collateral damage; others may call it friendly fire. One thing is certain: I can’t think of a time when anyone has really come clean with me about being in the line of fire while they fight their enemies. This usually happens unless I fully conform — or conform enough — to not only their views but their methods, culture, speech, and even their mannerisms.
Much of progressive culture is influenced by academia and other high-society status features. While my life has often been met with just the opposite — even though my upbringing and career choices have been urban, progressive, and counterculture by default — in my adult life, I’ve adapted a “vibe” that a rural American might have. This makes it hard to put a label on me.
I think that explains why being willing to make friends with “enemies” is so triggering. I remind them of the people they are scared of, triggering them with a constant sense of mistaken identity.
The Evangelical Worldview and the “Army of God”
Besides the secular right, let’s look firstly at what I reluctantly call the “religious right”. Regarding many right-wing Americans — with the exception of secular subcultures and the wealthy “corporate freedom” types — I’ve noticed that evangelical Christians largely adopt that right-wing worldview. I wanted to focus a lot on born-again Christians and the principles they admit to each other, sometimes even from the pulpit.
Thirty years ago, a church leader told me something to the effect of: “The army of God is the only army that kills its wounded”. They get so many hurting people from the church across the street. A year later, there’s another influx of what they call “transfer growth” because they were traumatized by the church leaders across the street and so on.
I find it admirable that they admit how much abuse goes on in their own circles. If they would actually do something about it, that would be nice, but they are at least one step ahead of us in that area. There is little to nothing being said on our side, except for folks like me who were raised at the bottom of a progressive pecking order with such cruelty among the militant, extreme left that we came running to evangelical Christianity because there was nowhere else to go.
For decades, I have talked to educated progressive people who claim to be open-minded until I touch on the possibility that a neurodiverse, underprivileged, or disadvantaged young person might have suffered such cruelty that they couldn’t function in the world. There is nearly a 100% widespread denial among progressives regarding the abuse I’ve suffered among the “brightest and best” they have to offer.
I grew up in the “perfect” progressive school and was raised in the “perfect” progressive church. That is how I am viewed, which leads to another misconception. There is the “question that’s not a question”. For instance, if someone says, “Why are you being such a jerk?” that isn’t a question; it’s bullying. I decided to stop answering people when they ask why I would ever want to join the “haters,” the fundamentalists, the Republicans, or the right wing. When I start to tell them, their hostility, hypocrisy, and invalidation of my suffering make it intolerable; and I rarely ever elaborate any more, except for my writings.
Trauma, Allegiances, and the Search for Family
We might not ever really know the statistics of how many people were raised in that type of extremist environment with all of those progressive ideas. There are countless individuals who, like me, were raised in these left-wing and urban progressive circles but were treated so horribly that they either disappear into self-harm, join a cult, or often go the complete opposite direction in order to find the family that they never had.
It is doubtful that anybody could ever find out this perspective unless they hang around enough evangelical churches to find out how many of the church members were adult converts, or whether they changed allegiances after being raised Democrat. I simply cannot think of all of the people that I have met over the years who had stories that were very similar to mine.
In my experience, none of these people ever leave the church, with maybe one or two exceptions. That creates a whole different set of trauma and a whole different experience of being in the left wing and the right wing. I simply cannot relate to having trauma as a child inflicted because of ultra-conservative values.
However, I can relate to what it’s like being an adult and suffering trauma with ultra-conservative ideologies. When I try to explain that to folks who grew up in that kind of faith environment, I am met with more invalidation, as if automatically assuming their trauma is somehow worse than mine.
Considering what I endured, I definitely do not deserve to receive that kind of invalidation, especially since they didn’t choose that environment and I did. At the same time, I didn’t really have a choice. There wasn’t anything that was giving me a way out of the unbreakable, vicious, downward spiral that was my life.
Granola vs. Gun Racks: Why Can’t We Be Friends?
How to Effectively Communicate and Build Bridges with the American Right-Wing
Part 2 of 3. This section covers the complexities of identity, the necessity of context in communication, and a critique of the methods currently used within progressive circles.
The Sexual Minority Turning Point
The only thing I can assign to the reason why I left the church, in addition to leaving right-wing culture and everything that they are about, was how they treat sexual minorities. Once I came out as gay, that was clearly the end of my life with them.
This is a very unpopular statement that I don’t make anymore to people, but I will put it in this article because this is a reality for me and a reality for a lot of people who are stuck in a very cultish political culture that is often hand in hand with a very cultish religious ideology:
“If I was a straight person in an alternate universe and had the same type of story and life experiences, I likely would have still been in the church voting for whatever Republican was running who supported our views, no matter what their character or any other horrible traits they might have.”
This comes as a shock to progressives, and I’m still met with, “How could you do this?” It was like betrayal to them. It was as if I was committing treason. But if they’re in complete denial of the abuse that I suffered and the fact that these right-wing people literally saved my life and gave me the life that nobody else did, then they might understand why this makes sense not only to me, but to countless individuals.
This is especially true for those who have been banished from society, touched with disabilities, or struggled with issues that have caused their cause to grow rapidly in recent generations. We need to understand that an academia-based culture, as opposed to a faith-based culture, can be just as toxic and abusive, just in different ways.
The Failure of Aggressive Activism
This leads me to my least favorite misconception about being a bridge builder. Let me give a little framework before I get into this very sad and discouraging aspect.
Ironically, when it comes to building bridges, the little bit of mind-changing I’ve accomplished has been on the side of the right when it comes to them starting to understand people like me. So far, I’ve not been able to change a single mind when it comes to left-wing people understanding my background, my methods, and even why I do what I do.
I just have this funny feeling that yelling and screaming and name-calling could very well be counterproductive to our cause. Maybe stuff like that worked 60 years ago if done right, but as far as I could tell, it’s done more harm than good.
If we’re going to prevent some type of civil war or any form of it, we need to build bridges and not burn them, in case you haven’t figured that out by now. How can we build bridges if we don’t understand why somebody believes, talks, and acts as they do?
How can we understand them if we don’t listen to them? How can we listen if we’re screaming and yelling? How can we listen to them if we are completely shut out from their sources and completely trapped in a bubble where we only gather information from those whom we feel like we trust?
Breaking the Bubble: Listening in Context
In addition to mainstream media, and particularly alternative and progressive media, I’ve noticed that folks are content when right-wing leaders and influencers are cited and quoted completely out of context. They refuse to gain the context, as if somehow the cultic tactics of right-wing propaganda are going to convert them, which is unlikely.
To most of the world, ultra-conservative rhetoric really is not only silly, but it’s also outright comical, at least from my perspective. Still, I can’t think of any conversation I’ve had where a left-wing, open-minded, curious person has exposed themselves to enough right-wing media to get the context and understanding.
This is typically the case with getting right-wing rhetoric filtered through a left-wing source as opposed to the context of the material being cited. The stuff out of context is bizarre, surreal, alarming, and typically very scary to most outsiders.
When taken in context, it’s typically about the same, but at least we know we’re getting the context and can confidently make a better informed decision. One way to reach your right-wing friends, neighbors, colleagues, and family members is to cite things directly from their sources and let them know that you’re taking an interest in their views. This would really impress them, as well as baffle them at first. One of the tactics of a lot of right-wing learners and media types is to push our buttons in order that we won’t listen to them. (Perhaps take a few gummies before subjecting yourself?)
De-escalating the Fear of Brainwashing
After all, if it’s a “sin” for a left-wing person to listen to right-wing sources, then we must consider the fact that left-wing sources are constantly citing right-wing media and leaders, which would then make them just as guilty as I am.
There are times when things are taken out of context, or especially isolated incidents that are exaggerated, and a left-wing person tries to cite that to a right-wing person. The right-wing person will say, “Well, that’s irrelevant,” or “I’ve never heard that. Where did you find that? If they say, “Well, I listened to Democracy Now and Al Jazeera,” that’s a really good way to trigger a right-wing person and get them scared, which is the last thing we want to do. We want to make our right-wing neighbors, colleagues, and family members feel safe with us, to open up to us.
If we listen to them, there’s a good chance they will listen to us; I’ve proven that countless times. I don’t listen much anymore to their sources, but I do listen to individuals. I hear their hardships, and I’m always able to find something I can identify with.
There is a belief that if I listen to a right-wing person, a speech of a right-wing leader, or commentary from a news broadcast, it would somehow be brainwashing me and thus make me an enemy of the left. This would just as much incriminate left-wing media sources for doing the exact same thing.
The fact that I’m listening to these people to identify with them instead of humiliate them is a whole different motive, and perhaps that’s what scares a lot of militant and angry left-wing proponents. I was once accused of “finding good things” in right-wing sources when I never even used that word. I kept saying that I’m looking to find common ground. That’s the term: common ground. In addition to ways that I can identify with them, I am always able to find several things as long as I’m creative.
Listening to right-wing people and sources is not going to brainwash you. It only brainwashes people who are trapped in the fear of the cultic influence of extreme right-wing rhetoric, in addition to other issues that relate to their lives, families, and cultures. Sometimes it’s not about information or even delivery; it’s the fact that they’re identifying with their family, their work, and often their faith.
The Value of the American Workforce
Most people, whether they’re on the left or the right, would agree that it is more common to find a lot of the American labor workforce identifying as right-wing. This is even more so for agricultural workers who are supplying the majority of our food.
Most importantly, those who work in security, such as law enforcement and the military, tend to lean right, in my dealings. Anybody leaning left could approach a right-wing person and value them for basically feeding and protecting us. What would we do without food and protection? Will we need to learn Russian and learn to like their bland foods?
Of course, there are exceptions, like “hippie” organic farmers’ markets and urban progressives working in law enforcement. I’m just saying that if we were to generalize and demonize the right wing as inherently evil for their voting record, we need to consider who we’re demonizing.
I have heard more generalization in recent years than I’ve ever heard coming from progressive sources all over the globe. It seems to be more socially acceptable to say things like everyone who supports Mr. Trump is not only considered some type of criminal, but these are also people who are considered inferior in intelligence and morality.
Dehumanizing Rhetoric and Hate Speech
This dehumanizing rhetoric could easily be categorized as hate speech. One thing I will not mention to either side when trying to build bridges is, “Well, one thing both of you have in common is I hear a lot of demonization,” which reminds me of political uprisings a century ago calling a certain group of people “rats.”
If there’s speech calling an underprivileged, marginalized group derogatory terms like “rats,” that’s grounds for the same type of hatred that us progressives are trying to stand against. If anybody makes a negative statement that represents hundreds of millions of people, my response is: “Well, you might be right, but the fact is, I haven’t met every right-wing American, so I’m not at liberty to say that they’re all completely evil.”
So far, that hasn’t been met with a positive response, which is a good indication that this is a more systemic problem than society is willing to address on a global scale. Besides me having this weird gift, I have an additional advantage because I communicate directly with people across the globe.
Global Perceptions and Diversity on the Right
Everybody’s getting some type of rhetoric about the United States, and for the most part, it’s pretty accurate; however, it can be incredibly polarizing and very demonizing. One example of what the world is telling me is that they think it’s a problem with “Republicans.”
I recently heard from a guy from India saying that he hates all Republicans. The irony is, I can’t count the number of Trump supporters I’ve talked to who don’t even identify nor register with the Republican Party.
Another misconception is that those supporting Trump are all white people who hate non-white people. That couldn’t be further from the truth, considering the African Americans, Latin Americans, and LGBTQ+ people I have talked to who still support Trump.
Most of them remain “closeted” when it comes to associating with progressive people. You will find pockets of various subcultures — nomadic people, artists, sexual minorities — where folks who support right-wing causes are afraid to express that for fear of being persecuted and banished.
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Because of this gift I have, I am often the one who can say, “You’re safe with me, and I don’t judge you. I’m sorry that my people have treated you this way.” This is often met with something like, “You’re the only liberal that I could talk to where I felt safe.”
Tolerance and the “Witch Hunt”
As much as it saddens me to hear my fellow progressives who identify with tolerance, how much we have become the oppressor. There is a belief that right-wing people are incurably corrupt and there’s no chance of changing their minds, so why even try?
I tell them that I’ve not only had them listen to me, but I’ve gotten to change their views. On a humorous note, as much as I don’t fully adhere to progressive culture — and I definitely don’t like the smell of kombucha and patchouli — I wouldn’t want to impose an entire set of political and cultural characteristics on anyone. That’s what I call “assimilation.”
I have met so many people who have 100% assimilated to the trends of lefty counterculture, which is another humorous bag of ironic traits that we impose in addition to something that’s even more absurd that I reluctantly refer to as a “witch hunt.”
One example would be if somebody questioned someone about their bumper stickers, t-shirts, or social media posts to identify which “side” they’re on. I noticed this polarization as far back as the early 90s on bulletin boards in health food stores. Back then, people would list: “I’m pro-choice, anti-war, support gay rights, and against racism.” No need for all that. “Liberal” defines all of those views. Further back in the 80s, we wore a lot of buttons stating our views. I remember one guy who just had the word “Liberal,” and that’s all he wore. Good for him.
I heard a recent story of somebody who wanted to “qualify” people before doing business with them, scanning for symbols like Trump flags or even American flags. Someone had an earlier version of an American flag on their property, and the way it was told to me sounded more like an interrogation process than taking a sincere interest. It led right away to: “Did you vote for Trump?” followed by divisive statements and a refusal to do business with them.
Strategies of Antagonization
The extreme left and right-wing leaders have one thing in common: antagonizing each other. A generation ago, Mr. Obama did little to nothing to intentionally antagonize those who opposed his views. For the most part, most Americans weren’t terrified of him because he didn’t use triggering and polarizing speech against them, no matter how scary his middle name was.
Sadly, I haven’t seen that with the Democratic leaders that I followed in the last decade; they were affirming their supporters and at the same time antagonizing those who were against them. Aside from that, I must point out that I have observed this: nobody antagonizes their opponents better than Mr. Trump. He does it with such strategy and thought. My extremely unpopular belief is that Trump has been successful at controlling both his followers and his opponents for the simple fact that he gets one group to listen to him way too much and another group that is terrified to listen to him.
Many people raised in an oppressive right-wing environment are traumatized, and he knows that scaring people and pushing their buttons is an effective tactic. One statement that has gotten me into trouble is the fact that “I listen to both sides and I make up my own mind.”
This is met with the misbelief that if somebody listens to something, then they’re going to be converted. When a media outlet cites a right-wing leader, it’s typically pretty scary. When you get the context, it’s often almost as scary, but I can proudly say to any right-wing component that, yes, I heard the entire speech.
Aversion and the Buddhist Example
There are a few actual open minds out there who might actually like my ideas, especially when I package my statements in the context of “Eastern thought.” One of the teachings of the Buddha has to do with the subject of aversion.
When Trump got elected for the first time, I was attending a Western Buddhist congregation. I was shocked at how hypocritical these so-called Buddha-followers were. When it came to one of the cardinal sins — aversion towards who they considered their enemies — it was the view of everyone there I talked to. It’s about as confrontational as an anti-Christian person pointing out all the things a Christian does that are not “Christlike.” I try to refrain from aversion speech as much as I can.
This leads me to the “Muslim example.” Most progressives agree that Islamic people feel unsafe in America and that we should practice tolerance for every oppressed group. However, it’s rare to find folks who are just as tolerant of both Christians and Muslims, fundamentalist or otherwise. If you study Islam and Christianity, you realize that they’re just two expressions of monotheism, and both have their fundamentalists and their progressives.
If someone takes sides with Palestine or supports religious freedom for Muslim Americans, they’re likely supporting their freedom, not their views. That is what I do whenever right-wing people are oppressed because of their views. I’m not in any way enabling them; it’s just that if I were to propagate equality and fairness for all people, then that would go towards anybody who’s oppressed.
Granola vs. Gun Racks: Why Can’t We Be Friends?
How to Effectively Communicate and Build Bridges with the American Right-Wing
Part 3 of 3
This section covers the limitations of bridge-building, the “liberal sandwich” experience, the reality of street activism versus tangible charity, and the final call to action.
The Limits of Bridge Building and De-escalation
My personal social justice does have its limitations. If there is somebody who overtly expresses themselves in ways that would endanger, abuse, or neglect disadvantaged people, there are limits to what kinds of bridges I build. I won’t know for sure unless I ask them.
Sadly, I have met a lot of right-wing people who identify as white supremacists, and some have made derogatory statements against gay men like me. That is when bridge-building gets messy. I have also gotten into several discussions with people who oppose my views where I became confrontational in subtle ways.
However, one of my strange gifts is the ability to not “freak out” at those who are proponents of extreme right-wing ideologies. I can count on one hand how many times I regret being overly emotional in those conversations. I am proud to say that in recent years, I have been able to meet racism, homophobia, and other crimes against justice while keeping a cool head and guiding the conversation back toward finding common ground and disarming conflict.
There are ways anyone can disarm conflict. People are trained in law enforcement and other entities to de-escalate those who are hostile in situations concerning the public. It is amusing that at the Western Buddhist congregation, they were practicing a course referred to as “non-violent communication.”
This is very hard to practice when someone is boiling over with aversion, fear, and even hatred while trying to package their hostility toward the right wing in the bizarre and foreign language some call “politically correct” speech. This is a major trigger for those on the right wing.
Speaking the Language of the Right
Most educated people do not know how to speak their language. A great example is when a popular live theater group composed a very eloquent statement to Vice President-elect Mike Pence in 2016. I would imagine deep down inside he was laughing at all of the left-wing jargon in addition to those who were gloating in their victory; it was quite humorous.
Have I converted a right-wing American into being a left-wing American? I don’t have any particular examples of an entire paradigm shift. All I know is that I have planted a lot of seeds and built a lot of bridges over the years. One reason why right-wing people open up to me is that they know deep down that I truly love, value, and care for them.
This is something I have noticed with a lot of marginalized groups, especially when you have folks with right-wing ideas who live in urban progressive regions and keep their views secret at work and in public places. Most right-wing people I have met in these environments have experienced 100% hostility from those who oppose their views.
Combating Elitism and Snobbery
I also need to address elitism. Snobs, in my experience, do not know they are snobs. Oftentimes, a snob is disguised as a punk, a hippie, or someone who considers themselves at the bottom of society. They often hide behind their counterculture image, feeling better than the so-called “squares” and “conformists.”
They look down on those who appear to be conforming to society as if they are not part of the “cool kids.” In addition to finding ways to care for and value those who oppose my political views, I have also found a way to not look down on them. At the same time, I am not necessarily looking up at them.
There have been times when I have found things about right-wing people that I admire. For example, I have met so many hardworking people who identify as right-wing, as well as many veterans. Statistics would likely agree that veterans lean more to the right politically.
The Power of Validating Service
I have learned to say, “Thank you for your service,” which is very disarming for them. This is true especially if I am affirming their family members who have served, validating those who were drafted or volunteered, and acknowledging those who have suffered or been traumatized.
I make references to how admirable that is and compare it with aspects of my life that are very different. This allows me to find something about them that I can sincerely hold as superior. I can do this honestly while looking them in the eye.
For them to hear that from someone who leans left makes them consider making friends. Part of my unusual gift as a bridge builder is making sure my motives are correct. If they know I’m trying to “convert” or “butter them up,” it will be revealed and become counterproductive. They know I am not trying to turn them entirely into a liberal. Sincerity matters; I don’t want to force someone to assimilate into a culture or ideology that might not serve them.
The Superiority Complex Chasm
Those who want to be bridge builders should consider that we could be dealing with people who have been hurt and traumatized, and they also could be quite intuitive. They can tell when someone feels superior to them. They have learned to avoid liberals with a superiority complex.
In my experience, the conservatives I have met have been approached nearly 100% of the time by liberal elitists, academic elitists, and social justice elitists. This only causes more of a chasm and polarizes our people further.
It is very difficult for most educated, academic, urban progressives to sincerely get to a place where they are wholeheartedly interested in loving and caring for their right-wing neighbors. Most separatist-type progressives I know were either raised (personally high ranking) in a militant left-wing community they still identify with, or they are what I refer to as “converts.”
Many were converted away from a right-wing upbringing during high school because they were exposed to ideas through the media and the Internet. This is very easy to do with sexual minorities, hyper-creative types, and neurodiverse people. It is a common cliché that most young people who attend a major university will, by default, convert to a more progressive worldview just by being exposed to new ideas.
The “Liberal Sandwich” and the Convert Experience
So many progressive people find it very difficult to wholeheartedly love and care for these people in addition to seeing them as equals. Sincerely valuing someone who opposes your views in a way that is sensed intuitively is one of the most difficult tasks for anyone on either side.
This gift I have is not supernatural; it is mostly a product of my personal history, in addition to my current choices and intentions. I characterize myself as a “liberal sandwich.” I started out left-wing, then I was right-wing, and now I am back to being left-wing. This is more common than people think, but we rarely hear about it unless we visit “seeker-sensitive” evangelical congregations and similar communities.
When it comes to “seeker-friendly” communities, these leaders tailor their speech, dress, and buildings to appeal to young urban people and college students. I was 20 years old when I was converted. I have met numerous converts who were raised in oppressive households with left-wing ideologies.
If you talk to enough people in these big megachurches and strip mall churches, you will find a significant number who converted their progressive ideology to a conservative one to suit their new biblical views. I have also met people in the “walk-away” movement who were tired of Democratic hypocrisy and got sucked into the Trump cult while having nothing to do with religion.
Understanding the Vote
People living in a progressive bubble often only see disgruntled converts who were raised fundamentalist and found solace in lefty counterculture. They begin to believe that is the only type of converting going on.
I was raised in an environment where I was abused and neglected, and I needed a second chance at healthy parenting that I never had. The adult converts to fundamentalism I have met are in it for life. We paid a high price to live as born-again Christians, especially when living among communities that oppress those beliefs.
Persecution has an opposite effect. The born-again Christian is constantly hearing, “How could you vote for Trump? He is not a Christian.” What people don’t realize is that voting records don’t always match religious views. They aren’t always voting for character; they are voting for strong leaders who will support their priorities. We also need to understand the difference between Trump Supporters as opposed to those who were just Trump Voters who may not be supporting him, just voting against his opponents.
Having an understanding of this, I can sincerely make healthy eye contact with a Trump supporter and say, “I don’t blame you for voting for him, considering your choices and your priorities.” I’ve been accused of being an enabler for this. I have made enemies with those who agree with my politics but not my methods.
The Ivory Tower vs. the Gutter
My methods are unorthodox, but finding ways to identify with those who oppose us is better than holding clever signs and screaming chants. Perhaps we, as lovers of social justice, will find ways to organize public demonstrations that don’t make us look hypocritical and intolerant. The media likes to hyperfocus on one idiot holding a Defund the Police sign and makes this method so vulnerable to criticism.
Self-expression is valuable, but I have noticed people who devote too much time to yelling and not enough time to feeding the hungry, or other forms of kindness. The next time you go to the city, ask the houseless people who is meeting their needs and who gave them their clothes. When I was a child, these needs were met by grassroots progressive organizations that have since dissolved, replaced by megachurches.
How can we hate the people who are, for the most part, protecting our borders, providing our workforce, supplying our agriculture, and doing more for those with nowhere to sleep? These questions have made me an enemy to my own people. We won’t know the truth unless we come down from our ivory towers, put away our lattes, and take a walk through the homeless encampments in city parks and the gutters of society.
We must start listening to the farmers, the ranchers, and the border patrol workers to find out if they are suffering because of decisions made by those who have no idea what it’s like to live as they do. Then, basically, we can do the math, and hopefully honor these valuable American people.
Conclusion and Call to Action
True bridge-building requires us to abandon the “ivory tower” and the safety of our ideological bubbles to engage with the reality of our fellow citizens. We must recognize that the demonization and dehumanizing rhetoric used against hundreds of millions of people is a systemic poison that mirrors the darkest chapters of history. We cannot hope to understand our neighbors if we only view them through the filtered, out-of-context lens of our own media. To begin this vital work, follow these steps:
- 1, commit to ending the “witch hunt” of qualifying people’s morality based on their symbols, bumper stickers, posts, or voting records.
- 2, take a sincere interest in their views by exposing yourself to their original sources, proving you are not afraid to listen to the full context of their arguments.
- 3, acknowledge that many on the Right are there because they found a sense of family and safety (like in evangelical churches) that they were denied in progressive circles.
- 4, actively seek “common ground” by identifying things you admire about them, such as their work ethic, their military service, or the ways they provide our nation’s food and security.
- 5, practice “non-violent communication” by keeping a cool head when confronted with ideologies that trigger you, choosing to de-escalate rather than “freak out.”
- 6, prioritize the tangible work of advocating for individuals who are at risk and meeting the needs of the underprivileged rather than clever chants and street demonstrations.
By moving away from a superiority complex and toward a place of genuine curiosity, we can plant the seeds of lasting change. We must remember that making others feel safe and valued is the only way to truly disarm hostility. If we listen to them with an open heart, there is a high probability they will eventually listen to us in return — and realize that our shared survival depends on the bridges we choose to build rather than the ones we burn.
Bridge building requires empathy, listening, nonjudgment, and sincerity. It involves valuing people’s humanity over ideology. I have met individuals on both sides who remain silent out of fear, oppressed by their communities, or bound by trauma. My method is simple: I acknowledge their humanity, respect their experiences, and seek common ground without attempting to convert, shame, or humiliate.
The American right-wing is not monolithic; it includes diverse races, sexual orientations, gender expressions, and economic and cultural backgrounds. Many right-wing people are performing essential work, caring for the vulnerable, and protecting our nation. They often face fear, trauma, and marginalization. Bridge building involves recognizing these realities while maintaining integrity, empathy, and boundaries.
If we aim to prevent civil conflict, we must build bridges, not burn them. We must understand, listen, and approach each person as an individual rather than a stereotype. Extremism, in any form, is harmful; understanding, empathy, and sincerity are tools that anyone can use to reduce polarization. My approach is not about winning arguments or converting others — it is about human connection, respect, and care for people, even those we disagree with.
In the end, my life, history, and experiences have uniquely equipped me to communicate across ideological divides. Most of my peers will likely find this way more difficult than it is for me. I don’t deny the scale of this challenge, but I have witnessed the transformative effect of listening, valuing, and connecting. Bridge building is neither easy nor fast, but it is essential if we want to foster understanding, compassion, and ultimately, a more peaceful society.
