CAN we EXPRESS FEMALE GENDER in the MIDST of PATRIARCHY?
Im lost on gender expression.
Two of the dominant powers of western culture are capitalism and patriarchy. Female gender is set in a culture dominated by these things. As such this male power exerts its influence on the notions of female gender from their perspective. I can only express gender relative to a male and the framework that those males have set up.
They focus on female attributes that powerful patriarchy members desire. Physical beauty and subservient behaviours. How do I map onto my gender given this immersive context?
Gender language
I am not comfortable with the words around my sex and gender. ‘Lady’; for me this is more about class than gender. ‘Female’; this doesn’t do my emotional existence justice. ‘Girl’; is patronising I’m not a child.
‘Matriarch’; this is a term my biological mother used to justify control. It has connotations of unbridled power. ‘Bird/Chick’; makes me feel like I’m some sort of frail life. ‘Wife/partner/spouse’; I’m not someone in my own right.
‘Maid/Maiden’; makes me feel like I’m some subservient milkmaid. ‘Dame’; is some sort of bumptious character to be laughed at, or a polite entitled person of the arts. ‘
Woman; Im not totally comfortable. It implies maturity which implies age and maturity is a term that can be ignored. ‘Madam’; is distant, it also implies a certain type of female who shouldn’t assert herself but does. ‘Babe’; no its all about looks. ‘Doll’; no I’m not a play thing.
I’ll settle on female. It explains me accurately as to my sex and stays out of some of societies problems with gender.
Gaining female power in patriarchy
Female gender can gain power. That power may come from ‘aping’ patriarchy. Many female politicians wear suits have short hair and wear subtle make up. The look is generic. I do not want to conform to a patriarchy style uniform or behaviours.
Female gender can also gain power through monitising sex. In a capitalist world women have exploited this commodity to gain independence. Unlike domestic work and motherhood this work that women do holds a monetary value in the patriarchy.
As a commercial activity in a capitalist economy it’s a normal activity. It’s whether the notion of the female as a body to service men makes it more difficult for women to be seen outside of this.
The use of the female body to gain power in patriarchy
Patriarchy values particular types of female faces and bodies. This is also shallow as it varies over time. Female physicality is at stake. I feel very judged for my physical appearance.
Being a physically average female is not enough. I feel I need to be above average. I need the beauty industry entourage to get me there. I feel if I am not above average in terms of feminine beauty I will not be seen, I will be lost. I have experienced this.
I had a friend who in this cultural climate struggled to live. She didn’t conform to the current cultural physical norms, and as such was viewed as ugly. No one saw her, no one engaged with her and no one seemed to want to see her, she was invisible. It was a shocking experience.
I dont want to engage with having to feel above average of a preferred norm.
The concern of objectification
Anything that continues to focus on women and their physicality outside their health is starting to push us further down the objectification route. This is dangerous. Instead of individual people with emotions and stories we become a more dehumanised physical body for the male gaze.
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I dont want to be seen as a vacuous shell.
The locus of the problem with the commodification of the female body
Women’s engagement with their own bodies and their own physicality is their absolute right. Women who sell their body are making money and not providing free services to the patriarchy. We live in capitalism. Women cannot be blamed for exploiting male desire for money to survive the power differentials and inequalities they are subjected to.
The glamorisation of millions made by a small few is a small story that has been sensationalised. It is not the case for the majority of women.
It is the person who looks at another in a reductionist judgemental way, not the one holding the physicality, is the person with the problem/the person at fault. This is who we should hold to account.
Aesthetics and expression of the female body
I do love fashion, I do love makeup and hair. It allows me to express myself. I love buying into local businesses.
I don’t love being exploited by the companies who sell products that make my skin spotty, then blame it on my skin not their product. I don’t love the fashion industry pushing ever changing fast fashion trends at me. I don’t love favoured body types. I don’t love being forced into age related fashion.
What I don’t love in summary is the look I am shoved into for excessive commercial gains and male gaze.
Can we utilise female gender norms at all in patriarchy?
If we map ourself without knowledge onto patriachial female gender expectations it could be problematic. We are being co-opted into gender norms without our full consent.
If we do understand the context of patriarchy and its impact on society we are empowered to use these norms in a way we choose.
The tool of sex to oppress gender
Biological sex makes gender difficult to deal with.
Cultural expectation is set in a power system of patriarchy. Our ‘sex’ compared to our ‘gender’ is easy to deal with because our sex organs have a physicality. We can see them.
On the other hand gender is the lived human experience. It isn’t an easy navigation as it involves the whole of the body, the majority of which we cannot see. It includes the bodies engagement with the outside world and its feedback mechanisms.
This is far more complex but its what makes us human. Complexity takes effort to understand and trust in the individual. Putting a simple visual narrative of sex organs against a complex trust based personal narrative of gender makes gender more difficult to navigate.
That personal gender based narrative is then pitted against patriarchal power norms of gender. Another difficult narrative to make our way through.
Having female sex organs patriarchy has a strong gender narrative for me. I just cant pick out my own having been conditioned to it for so long.
Space for being human
We know that there are hermaphrodite species, and species who change gender. We also know that the human species experiences the need to change gender. Gender exists; its out there and inside ourselves.
Its a form of human expression and as such the more we allow ourselves to be ourselves the more we will understand who we are rather than relying on reductive simple safe concepts.
Maybe one day I will be able to figure it out.
