I REMOVE MYSELF
Slowly but surely, the course of elimination will manifest when systems fail to address patterns.
I have learned that not every space
is interested in hearing the truth.
I have asked questions
in places where curiosity was considered rebellion,
where clarity was met with silence,
and authority, hid behind
“This is how things are done.” or ‘This is how things should be”
But while I understand certain roles of tradition, it sure doesn’t equate truth.
Authority isn’t integrity.
And no system should be beyond questioning.
I question.
I listen.
I make room for correction.
And when my cooperation is expected
but my concerns are unwelcomed,
I pay close attention.
In my work, and my friendship dynamics,
and in the matters of the heart,
I have always given considerations to the other person—
their needs, their struggles,
and the ways I can show up,
oftentimes without keeping score.
But consideration without reciprocity
becomes exhaustion,
and responsibility without boundaries
becomes self-abandonment.
I, too, deserve the consideration I give.
For quite some time,
I mistook peace for the absence of conflict,
believing that if I accommodated enough,
things would eventually settle.
But silence doesn’t automatically mean harmony,
and the absence of conflict doesn’t make a situation right.
I welcome difficult conversations.
I can disagree without disrespect,
admit when I am wrong,
and confront what needs to change.
I’m not yearning for triumph during arguments.
I’d rather we arrive somewhere better.
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Avoidance, has have been said on numerous occasions runs from discomfort.
Discernment on the other hand engages with it,
allowing room for understanding,
and recognises when resolution
is no longer a mutual pursuit.
I do not withdraw because things get difficult.
I reconsider my place when dysfunction becomes a pattern,
when apologies outlive their meaning,
and when the desire to make things right
is no longer shared.
I will stay where disagreement
makes room for growth
and respect survives the truth.
But I will not remain
where my commitment is exploited,
my voice is inconvenient,
or my dignity is the price of belonging.
I can care about someone
without accepting every condition
of their presence in my life.
I can honour what was
without enduring what keeps repeating.
Not every ending requires a villain.
Not every separation should be a defeat.
Sometimes, people simply cannot build well
within the dynamic they have created.
I agree am not always right.
Neither am I above correction.
However, I refuse to confuse endurance with virtue
or self-abandonment with love.
I will fight for what is worth saving,
but I’ve learned saving it alone is a lost cause.
Therefore,
I’ll remove myself
not because I cannot handle conflict,
but because I refuse to keep participating
in what is unwilling to change.
My self-respect is not a bargaining chip.
My presence is not owed at any cost.
I leave with discernment,
not defeat.
