Cheating
7 Huge Micro Cheating Examples to Look Out For
Love moves in mysterious ways, and so does infidelity. They both adapt to this hyper-modern digital world, but the latter, unexpectedly, has become more complicated, thanks to the rise of micro cheating.
Unlike traditional cheating, you can’t immediately recognize micro cheating. It’s subtle and borders between what’s acceptable and what’s not.
That said, to clear up the vagueness, we’ve listed some huge micro cheating examples you should look out for.
What Is Micro Cheating?
Before we get to the examples, let’s define the term.
Though first coined in 2008, micro cheating only became a buzzword in the past five years or so. It’s no accident that its popularity went alongside the ubiquity of social media and smartphones — the wingmen or accomplices of cheaters.
As the term suggests, these are small, subtle acts of “almost cheating.” So we arrive at this question: is micro cheating still cheating?
Jennifer Jacobsen Schulz, a social worker with a PhD in psychology, boldly defines it as “cheating on a small scale.” It is cheating, period.
While some think it’s nothing more than a fad or trend, it has a real-world impact on couples. It destroys trust in a relationship. Not to mention, the insecurity and emotional strain it brings can drive the other person to experience paranoia about losing the relationship.
Despite its small scale, it nevertheless casts a dark cloud of pain over a relationship, leading either to toxicity or traumatic heartbreaks.
7 Huge Micro Cheating Examples
Here are a few examples of micro cheating. You’ll observe that these mostly happen online and involve people you’re secretly attracted to. Ironically, though they’re subtle actions, they’re very telling of one’s commitment.
1. Claiming (or pretending) to be single despite being in a relationship.
Hiding your relationship status on social media, for example, is one of the telling signs of micro cheating. By welcoming the advances of others, you’re opening up the possibilities. It shows you’re not fully committed to your partner.
2. Secretly in contact with your ex (or exes).
This is pretty self-explanatory. Of course, being friends with your ex is possible, although rare. But keeping in touch online with your ex behind your partner’s back? That’s a red flag.
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3. Confiding in someone else other than your partner.
Vulnerability often breeds emotional intimacy (or dependency), which you should only reserve for your lover. Confiding in someone else or needlessly oversharing (especially sending over photos) often results in a suspiciously platonic friendship.
4. Not letting your partner know who you’re talking to, especially when asked.
There’s a reason why you’re hiding your interactions with a certain person from your partner, right? Why would you keep it a secret if you’re not doing anything wrong behind their back?
5. Conversing with someone about compromising topics like sex.
This sounds like an invitation, really. It’s like you’re teasing each other. Isn’t it strange that someone other than your partner is privy to your sex life?
6. Making a move on a crush.
A crush can be a workmate or a total stranger you saw online. Generally, there’s nothing wrong with admiring someone. But it’s another story if you’re trying to make a move on them by consistently liking their photos and posts, uploading thirst traps to bait them into reacting, and DM-ing in the guise of “making friends.”
7. Flirting and responding to flirtations.
This applies to both online and in-person. While flirting can sometimes be playful, it nevertheless undermines the integrity and exclusivity of your relationship.
Traditional cheating usually involves physical intimacy. But notice how it isn’t present in the listed micro cheating examples.
By old-fashioned standards, it doesn’t count as infidelity until the two of you sleep together. No kissing, no sexual contact.
But while this physical aspect is absent, it shares some fundamental characteristics with traditional cheating: dishonesty and secrecy. You’re hiding things from your partner and prioritizing the other person more than them. This changes your behavior and feelings toward your partner.
Micro cheating overhauls what we know about cheating. It’s insidious because it gives the illusion that it’s innocent and harmless. And with today’s accessibility, there’s not much risk involved.
But micro cheating can lead to full-blown infidelity. Before you know it, it’s already too late: your present relationship is going nowhere.
So what can you do about this?
Discuss with your partner early on how to make your relationship healthy. Establish rules together. Make things clear. Be on the same page. Set boundaries that would respect your relationship.
References
Jacobsen, Jenni. 2024. “23 Micro-Cheating Examples That Can Guide You.” Marriage Advice — Expert Marriage Tips & Advice. May 24, 2024. https://www.marriage.com/advice/infidelity/micro-cheating-examples/.
