Dear God
God, if he was never written for me,
then please tear this feeling out of me from its roots.
Don’t let it grow this big
only for You to break it in the end.
He is already happy with someone else.
So why does my hearts still move as if it belongs to him?
Why do i keep crawling back to him?
I know i should be happy for him,
and a part of me truly is.
But i can’t keep living like this,
living with a longing that never finds its way home,
living with tears that never really end.
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Why would You give me a feeling this deep
if i was never meant to have him?
I ran as far as i could,
left that city, left those memories,
i trusted distance to be enough.
But why is it that even after three years,
his name is still the one my heart holds onto the longest?
What does it mean to keep living
when every day bends, quietly,
in the direction of someone who will never turn back?
God,
if this love has nowhere to go,
then let it end here.
I am tired of carrying what was never mine to keep.
