Interview With: Count Dracula

By Kevin J. W. Driscoll © 2024

Interviewer: Good evening, Count Dracula. Thank you for joining us tonight.

Dracula: Ah, a pleasure. Though I must say, this modern lighting is quite harsh on my pale complexion.

Interviewer: Quite right. Now, let’s get right to it. Many people wonder, how does a vampire like yourself pass the time in the modern world?

Dracula: Well, there are the usual pastimes, of course. Blood, wine, and the occasional symphony. Though, I must admit, the quality of the blood has deteriorated significantly since the advent of refrigeration. The modern diet is simply lacking in the essential nutrients that a vampire requires. And as for wine, I’ve found that the vintage wines of the 19th century are far superior to anything produced today.

Interviewer: That’s quite a revelation. And what of your diet? Do you still prefer the blood of young women?

Dracula: Ah, a classic misconception. While I do enjoy the taste, I must say that the nutritional value of modern blood is quite disappointing. I’ve been experimenting with a variety of alternative sources, such as cattle and even the occasional deer. But nothing quite compares to the rich, iron-laden blood of a young, healthy human.