Learning From Others
Joining a music group made up of people who were already connected and had developed a strong sense of family among themselves was not easy. But it has been one of the best decisions I’ve made this year.
I love the concept of learning discovering how far you can go when you push yourself beyond the limits you’ve set, and even beyond those set by others through family, friends, religion, or external influences. Most of the time, I find myself curious and inquisitive, eager to understand what others do, how they do it, and what drives them.
So, at the end of 2023, I made a decision: the following year, I would join a singing group one that would challenge my voice to reach great heights (not just good ones) and give me a platform to grow and mature musically.
As luck would have it, one of my good friends (Dalitso Howa) told me that Harmony, one of the big groups in the country, was looking for new members. I wouldn’t even need to audition as long as I was committed to showing up. And commitment has never been an issue for me. So, I grabbed the opportunity.
On January 26th, I attended my very first practice at Lilongwe Central Church. My first days were exciting and a little intimidating. Hearing how hard everyone had worked on their music video and other programs both inspired and terrified me. I questioned whether I could reach the level of dedication I admired. But as I said, it is the curiosity in me and the wonderer, that keeps me going in such spaces. So, I kept showing up and began practicing with the group.
It was during those practices that I realized how wide the gap was between me and the other members musically. At first, I brushed it off. But eventually, it became evident, in my performances and in my voice projection.
I started to feel small.
I began to hide. I didn’t want to be exposed. But the MD (Music Director), who is very observant and quite a character, noticed this and started pulling me out of my shell.
By then, I had become very aware of my own performance and the gap between where I was and the level of the group. I started to question whether I was contributing as much as I could, and I won’t lie it affected me deeply.
At one point, I even thought about quitting.
It was challenging being in an environment where the standard had already been set so high by those who came before. Hearing stories about past members and the impact they had made made me reflect on where I stood and where I needed to grow. At times, that translated into one difficult thought: I am not enough.
But over time, my perspective began to shift.
I realized that the group wasn’t against me they simply operated at a high level, and I had stepped into that space with a lot to learn. I had joined without auditioning, and they didn’t yet know my full potential. More importantly, I also recognized that I wasn’t yet at the level of musical professionalism I aspired to.
And instead of seeing that as a setback, I began to see it as an opportunity.
So, I chose to soldier on.
I kept learning.
Get Kondwani German’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
But this is a big group, and there isn’t much room for basic training or coaching. The assumption is that everyone already understands music, and the goal is simply to grow from there.
I struggled. And I am still struggling.
But something changed.
I decided to take responsibility for my growth. I began learning the basics of music on my own, working to reach, or at least get closer to, the level of the other members. It’s a long and painful process. Every mistake feels personal. Even when no one points fingers, I often find myself thinking, Was it me?
It’s not a good feeling, but it’s the truth.
So why am I sharing this?
Because I know we all have dreams goals and aspirations that fill us with excitement and butterflies. But then reality hits. Challenges arise. And suddenly, those dreams begin to fade.
I’m here to tell you this: the distance between you and your dream is often your own thinking.
The fears you have are not barriers they are signals. They are exactly what you need to confront to move forward.
I didn’t want to share this story from a place of success, like most people do. I’m still in the middle of the struggle. I’m still learning. I’m still trying.
But let me tell you something…
The look on people’s faces when I sing something well when we are all in sync it means everything. It’s validation. It’s proof that the effort is not in vain.
And because of that, I’ve learned to embrace the days when I’m not at my best. Those days are not failures they are building blocks.
It’s all part of the process.
Learning from others can be intimidating. Not everyone will be kind. Not everyone will be patient. Not everyone will allow room for your mistakes the way you might hope.
But what separates achievers from quitters is simple:
Showing up the next day ready to continue.
The choice is yours. What story do you want your life to tell? And what story will others tell about you?
P.S. I now love singing in the group. And they’ve started to recognize my talent and my organization. It’s going to be a fun journey.
