Not in Vain
It's been one AHHHHHHHHH of a week.
There has been a particular concern I've been bringing before the Lord countless times each day, pleading with Him for grace as He uses it to refine my character. And goodness, the Lord knows how many times I've stumbled, how many times my heart has failed to respond with the patience, gentleness, and faith that I know ought to mark a child of His. Sanctification is beautiful, but oh, how humbling it is to see just how much of me still needs to be put to death.
As if that weren't enough, deliverables kept piling up, my period added its own little share of discomforts, and somehow, by God's sustaining grace, I made it through the school week without having to file a sick leave.
Tonight, my heart felt a little lighter. But I still found myself bawling my eyes out.
Only this time, it wasn't because another avenue for the refining of my character had opened. It was because I received something I didn't even know I needed so badly: a message of appreciation from a parent for something the Lord had compelled me to do.
Get Kimberly Christy Riz Paano’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
It was just a message of gratitude, perhaps an ordinary thing to some, but goodness, it felt like a warm hug after a week that had wrung so much out of me. It was as though the Lord, in His gentle kindness, allowed me to feel a little of the encouragement I had been needing. Not because I had done anything extraordinary, nor because I had finally managed to get everything right, but because He graciously let me see that even in the middle of my weakness, He could use something as simple as my obedience to bless someone else.
And isn't that such a tender thing about our God? He does not promise that the refining will be painless, nor that we will always respond to our trials as faithfully as we ought. But He remains patient with us, continues His work in us, and sometimes sends the sweetest little reminders of His goodness when we least expect them.
I am reminded of Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 15:10: “But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain.”
Truly, if there is anything good that comes out of my hands, any kindness that reaches another person through me, or any encouragement I get to give in the middle of my own struggles, it is all because of grace. I am still a work in progress, still learning to die to myself, still needing the Lord to teach me how to respond to life's inconveniences with a heart that honors Him. Yet, in all of that, He remains faithful.
So tonight, I am grateful. Grateful that He sustained me through a week I could barely carry on my own. Grateful that He is still at work in the parts of me that need refining. Grateful for the work He has entrusted to my hands, even when the workload feels heavy. And grateful for a parent whose simple message became such a timely reminder that the Lord sees, knows, and can use even the smallest acts of obedience for His glory.
What a kindness to end a weary school week with tears that came not from the weight of another trial, but from the sweetness of being reminded that grace is at work.
Soli Deo gloria.All glory belongs to God, for sustaining me when I was weary, correcting me when I stumbled, and letting me catch a little glimpse of His goodness through something as simple as a message of gratitude.
What a blessed way to end the day. What a gracious God to carry me through it all.
