Silence

I am a hypocrite
I cry like I am the victim
When I bring misery to others
I remind myself I don’t want to live
But never leave a chance to push others off to survive
I crave attention
But when they show me sincerity I push them away
I taught myself to be kind to others
But can’t keep my facade for long
I act like I love it so much
I can also throw it away without a second thought
I vow to always be sincere
Only to remain as scars to them
I talk about responsibilities
But never raised my head when I should
How can I take care of others when
I don’t even see that they’re trying hard to avoid asking me for help after being disappointed by me
There is this mud I am in the more I try to hide
The Deeper I sink
Until I reach my garden at last,
To bury these secrets in a grave of silence.