The Burden of a “Life Plan”
I often wonder if children actually dream of who they want to become, or if they are simply reflecting the expectations of those around them. We borrow the identities of the doctors and engineers in our families because familiarity feels like a plan. We choose our parents’ careers because the routine is the only map we’ve been given.
Then, during a conversation in high school, I had a realization: I had no such aspirations.
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It was a strange moment. Because I was “the smart one,” no one — including myself — expected me to be without a path. In our society, being capable is often confused with being determined.
In an African context, we are raised on high hopes but often given zero practical tools. Society demands “realistic dreams” and high aspirations from a generation that has very little exposure to the actual work required to achieve them. We are told to reach for the horizon without being given the blueprints to build the path.
For a long time, the pressure of not knowing my “purpose” wasn’t just a confusion — it was a crisis. It led to anxiety and a sense of deep failure. I felt like I was being graded on a curriculum I was never actually taught; I was failing a test I hadn’t even been given.
I’ve since learned that it’s okay to be undecided. Life is not a rigid formula, and there is no universal timeline that dictates when you must “arrive.” It doesn’t matter what the external noise says.
At the end of the day, your only responsibility is to be honest with yourself. Do you.
