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How I Knew My Marriage Was Doomed
In hindsight, there are tons of memories I can look back on and think, “Why didn’t I leave then?” There were many big and small clues that our relationship was not good. But I was too in love to see it.
Even with the big clues I was in denial that it was actually a problem. I thought we could overcome anything.
I thought we could improve our communication. I read several books and tried the techniques in them.
(This makes me laugh now… I don’t think she even read any of the books I recommended!)
It’s kind of embarassing how long I tried and how many issues I was willing to look past. When I’m in a relationship I’m either all in or I’m out. It’s like a light switch.
The thing that flipped the switch was not dramatic. I was simply lying in bed, stressing out that I could not figure out how to impove things, when I had a realization.
When my ex wife and I got into disagreements I was pushing for what I thought was the best solution for the three of us. Her, me, and at that time just our oldest kid. She pushed for what was best for her.
That meant me and our kid would “lose” every fight. I was never trying to fight but somehow it always turned into one. I went in trying to figure the best plan for the three of us, her included. I wasn’t…
