I hate HS
Hidradenitis Suppurativa — a name I’ve grown to hate.
HS is a chronic inflammatory skin condition that causes painful, recurring lumps, abscesses, and tunnels, mostly in areas where sweat glands are located. That’s the medical definition. But what it doesn’t tell you is what it’s actually like to live with it every single day.
For most of my life, I’ve tried to run away from the fact that I have HS. I hid it because I was embarrassed, ashamed, and constantly uncomfortable. Part of it was the physical pain — I could never fully relax or even rest my arms comfortably during a flare-up. But an even bigger part was the fear of what other people would think.
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People are so quick to judge women’s bodies over things as normal as cellulite or stretch marks. So imagine what they’d say if they knew there was a painful cyst somewhere on my body that could burst without warning, leaking pus and blood. That fear of being judged stayed with me for years.
Living with HS means never knowing when a flare-up will happen. It means suddenly having to run to the bathroom because a cyst popped through your clothes. It means trying to find a position to sleep that doesn’t make the pain worse. It means planning outfits around what will hide the bumps or stains, avoiding certain activities, and constantly wondering if today will be a “good skin day” or another painful one.
It’s exhausting in ways that people can’t always see. The scars aren’t just on my skin — they’re emotional too. HS has affected my confidence, my relationships, and the way I see myself. There were times when I felt like my body was working against me.
But I’m tired of hiding something I didn’t choose. HS is part of my story whether i like it or not , but it doesn’t define my worth. Sharing my experience isn’t about asking for sympathy —It’s about reminding people that every person they meet is fighting a battle they know nothing about.
KP
