ACT devotees

ACT: The Empire Strikes Back (With Your Wallet)

Welcome, future test-takers and your beloved, high-stress, low-scoring nightmares! It’s that magical time again: ACT season, where academic success meets corporate profiteering. If you’ve been living under a rock, let me update you: ACT is now more of a lifestyle brand than an academic milestone.

Now, don’t be fooled, the “Official ACT Prep Guide” is still dressed up like it’s here to help you score higher and “expand your academic potential.” But, let’s be honest. It’s really just another way to ensure you can’t even get out of bed in the morning without checking your latest test prep package email, the digital flashcards with $15 microtransactions, and the “exclusive” video tutorials that promise to help you score 1% higher. That’s right: it’s a shiny, beautifully packaged product designed to make you question your self-worth, one $40 guidebook at a time.

The ACT — Now Available in HD!

Remember the days when tests were just tests? Well, those days are gone. The ACT has now blossomed into a full-blown marketable experience. The new 2024–2025 prep guide? Oh, it’s not just a test prep book. It’s an all-inclusive immersion into the ACT Experience™. With a sleek new cover (perfect for Instagram stories), bonus practice tests that you’ll never finish, and digital flashcards that seem like they were designed by someone who…