Going Back to the Roots and Start Again.. and again.
The last two days I got to experience something I had given up a while ago. A really long — while ago… when life called and told me to pack up my dreams and start building my life insurance policy of what came to be my esthetician job. So far it sucks not seeing the lucrative side of the business so while I was applying for a second job to pay for my wisdom teeth removal debt I gained the opportunity to f*** around and be an extra on a short film. An opportunity that was so graciously given from an old theater colleague friend of mine. Mind you, I had signed up for another short film volunteer as a lead role earlier on from somebody else but I dropped it to not miss another day of my works earnings towards the missed weekend of work post surgery.
And then it hit me, when I was on set for the last two days I felt like these people knew who I was and what I’m capable of. I was no longer a stranger to a hobby where outside that room it seems everybody else didn’t match the same excitement that I could share with the people in the cinematography community. S***, I was even bullied for thinking such way. Bullied myself into thinking no one wanted my delusional ass. Turns out, being a struggling artist might have been something I could conform. Now I just need to pay off my credit cards and go back to the full time schedule of enjoying my twenties with as much of no regrets as possible. Last time I posted on here I was probably 21 before everything hit the fan and I had an identity crisis. Or an everything crisis for that matter. I turn 26 in less than 6 months and I’m scared what life I could not have for people pleasing and savoring every moment of the living and mourn for the dead like as one should.
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By the way, it is currently three in the morning and I couldn’t care less about the grammar and run on sentences that may have appeared. Welcome to the late twenties of
